How to get friends in the NSA - by Bert
Our friends at the NSA want to know who you are and what you like. Here are some things you can do to get noticed. You can start by dropping keywords in your conversations. These are certain words that you can type into your emails, your internet chatrooms, and even say on the phone to get his attention. Some of these keywords are:

bomb, terrorist, osama bin-laden, marijuana, president, kill, assassinate, september 11, destroy, plot, drugs, cocaine, chaney, congress, senate, iraq, saddam hussein, cnn, nbc, abc, cbs, missile, pharmacy, crack, pot, grow, survival, bullet, ammunition, terror, militia, freedom, plexus autocatalysis, virus, anthrax, revolution, revelation, 12/21/2012, alien, gun, george bush, pentagon, twin towers, new york city, india, pakistan, nuclear, hack, truth

see the whole deal at:
http://fivecomix.keenspace.com/bert/nsa01.htm