UnSequitur Industries
Our complete line of healthy and time-productive products are featured in convenience store restrooms the world over.
Here are just a few samples:
Hun Deflector™ - Item No. 77892. Patent No. 5,467,890,123. This pocket-sized wonder is your sure-fire defense against an invading would-be emperor. Available with optional Visigoth adapter. Batteries not included.
Oasis Simulator™ - Item No. 77782. Patent Pending. You won't believe your eyes at the inherent value of this revolutionary new USI product. Not recommended for the optically impaired. Some assembly required.
Silence Eliminator™ - Item No. 70082. For those tender moments when quiet just won't cut it, the USI Silence Eliminator gives you more than your fair share of ear-shattering noise. Available in red, ecru, bone and shy green.
Damp-o-Matic 2000™ - Item No. 71482. Who can resist the persuasive power of moisture? This amazing new product is guaranteed to provide a wet countenance at a moment's notice. Not available in Kansas and Guam.
Rid-o-Ron™ - Item No. 75487. If you know someone named Ron, and he just won't stay away, this aerosol spray will leave him running with blood-curdling screams of "I'll never return, I promise." Coming Soon - Rid-o-Rita and Rid-o-Dad. Caution: Follow directions carefully, contents flammable.
Commander Earwax Action Figure™ - Item No. 75486. This tot treat will keep the youngsters amused for hours. Disguised as a common Q-tip, Commander Earwax transforms himself into an actioneer fighting crime with his own special "danger-sauce". Keep out of reach of children.
ClogFest! ™ - Item No. 75486. This winning party game has been a secret treat for generations of fun-seeking teenagers, and now USI brings it home at an affordable price. We can't reveal the details of this joy-a-thon without spoiling its precious secret objective. You'll just have to try it to believe it! Also available February 1st...SUPER ClogFest
PRODUCTS!
Here are just a few samples:
Hun Deflector™ - Item No. 77892. Patent No. 5,467,890,123. This pocket-sized wonder is your sure-fire defense against an invading would-be emperor. Available with optional Visigoth adapter. Batteries not included.
Oasis Simulator™ - Item No. 77782. Patent Pending. You won't believe your eyes at the inherent value of this revolutionary new USI product. Not recommended for the optically impaired. Some assembly required.
Silence Eliminator™ - Item No. 70082. For those tender moments when quiet just won't cut it, the USI Silence Eliminator gives you more than your fair share of ear-shattering noise. Available in red, ecru, bone and shy green.
Damp-o-Matic 2000™ - Item No. 71482. Who can resist the persuasive power of moisture? This amazing new product is guaranteed to provide a wet countenance at a moment's notice. Not available in Kansas and Guam.
Rid-o-Ron™ - Item No. 75487. If you know someone named Ron, and he just won't stay away, this aerosol spray will leave him running with blood-curdling screams of "I'll never return, I promise." Coming Soon - Rid-o-Rita and Rid-o-Dad. Caution: Follow directions carefully, contents flammable.
Commander Earwax Action Figure™ - Item No. 75486. This tot treat will keep the youngsters amused for hours. Disguised as a common Q-tip, Commander Earwax transforms himself into an actioneer fighting crime with his own special "danger-sauce". Keep out of reach of children.
ClogFest! ™ - Item No. 75486. This winning party game has been a secret treat for generations of fun-seeking teenagers, and now USI brings it home at an affordable price. We can't reveal the details of this joy-a-thon without spoiling its precious secret objective. You'll just have to try it to believe it! Also available February 1st...SUPER ClogFest
PRODUCTS!
posted by Rev. Dr. Eric Z. Willman at 5:14 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home