Wednesday, March 09, 2005

A longer conversation with Liz

This conversation was such a hoot I had to share it. It is both funny AND informative.
--Eric

ME: A person was saying the other day within earshot of me, that any girl/woman was only "X" daiquiris away from a hot, girl-on-girl action encounter. Where the variable "X" is a certain number between one and ten.
what say you to this claim?
I raised an eyebrow.
I thought I should ask an expert ( a girl/woman ) for verification. In case there was something to it.

LIZ: Did you just say HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION? with a raised eyebrow no less?

ME: that was the term voiced, I believe. i am pretty sure that "Hot, girl-on-girl action " was the term that was used in that statement during that conversation

LIZ: I say the number is 6 when its daquiris, 3 for serious shots.....

ME: hahahaha! So it is true!!! I should note that the person expounding this theory was a long time emploiyee of Apple computers and should not be taken as an expert in anything except maybe star-trek trivia

LIZ: The only way a fucking uber cadet like that is gonna see some girl on girl action is at 1800-fuck-my-ass.com. His sexual knowledge is inferior

Me: 6 daiquiris you said

Liz: depends on how strong they are. the daquiris, not the women...

Me: spring break carribean vacation daiquiris I assume. I could be wrong. I always assume that the strength of a girl drink is measured in "Dexter St.-Jaques" which are units of alcohol spewed out by grinning Caribbean negro bartenders in tourist towns on the islands. something between three and six finger, on-the-rocks shots minimum. so imagine, in a worst case scenario, six daiquiris with a 'six-finger shot' content of alcohol each. DAMN, that could certainly lead to uninhibited behavior. and don't forget that somehow, Reggae music is a contributive factor in the unit measurement of "Dexter St.-Jaques"

Liz: You said grinning carribean negroe bartenders

Me: I did, with accents, even! Like in "whatchoo be cryin' 'bout, mon?" and 'av annudduh dak'ree lil white-girl ah-ah-ah
( laughs like the old seven up commercial guy )The...One hour and forty-five minutes later...there's hot girl-on-girl action.

Liz is the source of all lesbian, daquiri-sex knowledge

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