Monday, February 01, 2010

8 facts about sleeping on the floor

8 facts about sleeping on the floor
1. You get rats in your hair. They gnaw at your head. Good job it's only made of wood!
2. Sometimes you will be mistaken for carpet. To avoid this try very hard not to look exactly like a carpet. And try to to waft your carpety scent over people either.
3. The rats are a recurring theme in many peoples carpet dreams.
4. Hard floors are better for you. They make you look sexy.
5. Token gestures of defiance, such as raised fists and aligning your bags with the rising sun, will not be tolerated.
6. The word to use when trying to sleep is "moose". It sounds good and encourages delusions of softer, fleecier things.
7. If you sleep face down with your mouth open you may learn more than you had anticipated about the things your friends spill. Like pizza.
8. Mostly flummoxed? Then try carrying a soft rabbit with you to use as a pillow. Attach it the floor with glue (which is a more practical solution than nailing) and you have a fluffy bed.


Post a Comment

<< Home