How to Lose a Fight So The Other Guy Goes to Jail
Oh the comedy! It's short but it's SWEET! Here's a sample:

"I don't mean to brag, but I've never really had a hard time getting beaten up. However, for the longest time, after someone kicked my ass, instead of going to jail, that person would just go wash-up. No longer.

Allow me to reveal the tricks I use for getting the Law to deal out the punishment my fists and teeth cannot."

http://www.thespark.com/features/jail/jail.html