A letter to Scott

Hi Scott listen, I hate my job and I need someone to come over and kill me and set fire to the office building with my corpse still in it. Can you help me out here?

Oh, and when your done with that can you resurrect my charred, Freddy Krueger-esque corpse with some blasphemous Kabalistic magic so I can shamble north to Washington D.C. and wreak my horrible ‘vengeance from beyond the grave’ on all ‘the living’ at our headquarters too?

I would surely be obliged if you would maybe squirt flesh eating bacteria on my coworkers too. And if it’s not too much, could you maybe crash into all their cars as well?

Oh and, could you kill me one or two more times too? I would really prefer that to staying here any more today or getting fired for shutting down into a vegetative state in my cubicle.

The office is not too far from your house!

Sincerely,
E. Z. Willman
Sheshunoff Information Services