8 facts about automobiles

8 facts about automobiles
1. They are like cars, only automatic.
2. They have wheels that sit on the road. When you talk to the wheels they get excited and start to revolve.
3. You can't really steer an automobile. You just have to hope that it goes near the place that you buried the bodies.
4. The windows are made out of sugar. Go on! Lick them! Like in Willy Wonka! But watch out. Willy won't like it if you lick all the way through and ruin his laughter device.
5. To mend an automobile requires years of experience and an affinity for grease and bad smells.
6. Take your happy pills children. Uncle Santa will be here with the new automobile soon! Then we'll be able to take you to the shops and you can pick whatever cool thing you want! And we can drive to school instead of you walking in the rain! Everything will be wonderful! What’s that? Toby, take that sawdust treat out of your mouth and speak clearly. Oh. It's only a toy automobile.
7. Sit still. Don't panic. If you panic the automobile will sense your distrust and just whisk you all over the shop.
8. You can't shut those doors unless you use real force.