Thursday, October 15, 2009

8 DOs and DON'Ts about banging on drums

8 DOs and DON'Ts about banging on drums
1. DO get a drum that's bigger than you but smaller than your fat older brother "Ted".
2. DO listen to the sound. They make a lovely sort of ringing. A bit like bells actually.
3. DO use sticks to get a woody sound then use your fists to get a sort of fleshy sound and use a live gazelle for a scampering and falling over sound.
4. DO stay inside. It rains outside and you might drown. If you press your nose and mouth against the pavement that is!
5. DON'T oppress your neighbors by noisily defecating on their pets, children or flowers.
6. DON'T get your hand stuck in the top of the drum after experimenting with knife based drumming techniques.
7. DON'T paint your drum with psychedelic-stylee colors and pretend it's, like, totally cosmic, man. Really. It's just a happening thing! Oooh rub it over my tongue, feels like cold wet moss!
8. DON'T decide that your drums are stupid and stop playing. Keep playing and everything will work out! You will be employed and happy. Your spouse may also be happy. Your closest associates will seek you out for your sage advice. And your parents will die happily in their sleep. Ah, THE END!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home