8 facts about vacations abroad
8 facts about vacations abroad
1. Those wacky foreign people! They'll do anything for a laugh! Like smack you in the mouth, you drunken whore.
2. Other nations use languages other than English. Cower in fear as you listen to the tongue of the devil in the mouths of these people.
3. Always take plenty of things that you can use for barter. While they may accept daughters you should make sure that she's not ugly and doesn't grunt like a pig. Try to think of something that your foreign pals might actually want!
4. Foreign food is sometimes thought of as "muck". It's actually "suck". Some idiot just translated it incorrectly. Doh!
5. Skiing is for wimps and pansies. Thus, it is great! Wimps and pansies are cool too!
6. Some holidays involve running through foreign woods with a mask over your head but no other clothes. You scream because the men are stabbing at you. They could probably catch you any time they wanted to.
7. Sun is cool. If you could just get closer to it your tan would be even better. Thus: wear no clothes and stand on top of the tallest building you can see. Wave your arms about to swim in the suns gorgeous, tanning, sexual rays. Mmmm!
8. Drugs can be found at many modern resorts. Just check your brochure for details! What? You don't...have a brochure? GET THE FUCK OFF MY BEACH TOWEL AND TAKE YOUR STUPID FRIENDS WITH YOU.
1. Those wacky foreign people! They'll do anything for a laugh! Like smack you in the mouth, you drunken whore.
2. Other nations use languages other than English. Cower in fear as you listen to the tongue of the devil in the mouths of these people.
3. Always take plenty of things that you can use for barter. While they may accept daughters you should make sure that she's not ugly and doesn't grunt like a pig. Try to think of something that your foreign pals might actually want!
4. Foreign food is sometimes thought of as "muck". It's actually "suck". Some idiot just translated it incorrectly. Doh!
5. Skiing is for wimps and pansies. Thus, it is great! Wimps and pansies are cool too!
6. Some holidays involve running through foreign woods with a mask over your head but no other clothes. You scream because the men are stabbing at you. They could probably catch you any time they wanted to.
7. Sun is cool. If you could just get closer to it your tan would be even better. Thus: wear no clothes and stand on top of the tallest building you can see. Wave your arms about to swim in the suns gorgeous, tanning, sexual rays. Mmmm!
8. Drugs can be found at many modern resorts. Just check your brochure for details! What? You don't...have a brochure? GET THE FUCK OFF MY BEACH TOWEL AND TAKE YOUR STUPID FRIENDS WITH YOU.
posted by Rev. Dr. Eric Z. Willman at 9:36 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home