Saturday, September 12, 2009

8 facts about standing in a garden

8 facts about standing in a garden
1. Watch out! Falling Elephants!
2. The grass is colored green. Stare at it. Oooh, pretty patterns!
3. Never remove light bulbs that you can't actually see.
4. Weeds? Everywhere aren't they? Hack at them with the nearest available utensil. But beware: your feet aren't weeds.
5. If you plant some things, they will grow. Other things might grow. Some things will not. Geese will grow, but only when small. Don't bury them completely either.
6. If you can't stand the smell of sewage from your neighbors garden, just ask them to wash there spouse. The lovely person won't object!
7. Greenhouse. Slithering snakes live in them. You'll get bitten by one and die if you even stand in the doorframe.
8. Flimsy clothes are great for gardens. They reflect the inherent slutyness of nature.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009


Man I really have neglected this blog. Facebook is to blame I'm sure. Maybe just the fact that nobody really reads blogs anymore that arent fully fledged websites in their own right contributed. I dont want ads or videos or similar bullshit on my blog. Just links to insanity on the web and a soapbox for my rants. I think I'll change the name from Emmett Otter's Jugband Holocaust either back to Atomic Monkey Apocalypse or Ready, Set, RIOT!!!

Yeah, that sounds good.