Saturday, April 09, 2005

Nanaka Crash

OOOOOkay kids,this wierd as little game involves a little Japanese girl RAMMING THE SHIT out of some dopey-ass Japanese Schoolboy with her bike...Inentionally. The object is the bash his PUNK-ASS as far across the park as you possibly can!! Several of your Schoolgirl friends lie in wait across the park to bash his gimp ass into the stratosphere and other wise help you to increase your score. Also there are a couple of dudes in the park who will slown down his flight in one way or another and apparently some chick who might be his girlfreind or something that will stop his powerslide altogether. This game is strangely engageing and monstrously simple to play. As the scene opens, a moving arc dertimer will bounce up and down onm the screen to the left of the goober you're going to bash. click on it with your mouse at different angles to determin poer and trajectory and BASH AWAY!!! It is very fun.

CLICK HERE for Japanese Schoolgirl Fun

A very GAY statue

Stone Cold Gay

Yep, that's pretty gay.

BLOODBATH PILLOWFIGHT

I put in the term bloodbath to Google and this is what i got

pilowfight

Apparently there is a softcore, Skinemax-type film called "Bloodbath Pillowfight". I have to admit, I LOVE that name

Of course, "bloodbath" also gave me this image as well...

bloodboobs

WTF! - FROTTING - WTF!

I feel that I should explain the term FROT to our readers out there who AREN'T familiar with the vernacular. I just found out about this madness a few weeks ago from my friend and fellow author of this site, Lord Nimrond. Allow me to set the stage by providing you with this definition courtesy of urbandictionary.com

1. frot
Used in the gay community as a term for an activity involving sexual gratification by rubbing that occurs between two men who do not wish, usually out of preference, to engage in anal intercourse. etymology: contraction of 'frottage'

This growing movement of men into frot who disown anal sex is not simply a matter of sexual taste. It goes farther than that, for it's a rejection of the overly and unhealthily feminized self-image of gay men that has dominated our lives for generations

2. frot
actual, factual, real deal, no-girls-allowed, sex between men, rubbing penises together between two humping bodies or within a single hand

Example: I wanna frot you like an animal.

I just though I should spread the word about the new whacked out term you may not have known. Like 'Donkey Punching', "Dirty Sanchez", "Docking" and the ever popular "World Class" which is more of a phenomenon than an act, so I hear.

If you DARE to actually put 'frot' or 'frotting' into google, you will see the many horrors and indelible images which will be burned into your mind, NEVER to be wiped clean. ( Not for the timid! ) Don't say I didn't warn you! Kids, don't try this at home!

For more on 'Docking" reply to this post. You're not even going to BELIEVE what that act is!!!

SHAKESKIN

Shakeskin.com started out as an idea one or two years ago when Halli, Ingvi, Oli Té and their friends where taking pictures of each other shaking their heads like crazy. Halli came up with the idea of putting up a website with just photos like this and that people should be able to upload their own photos. Halli talked to Ingvi and Oli Té and asked them to help him out.
So the three of them started working on this like mad men but somehow lost interest or something untill october 1st 2004 they finally opened up their website for all of you to see, feel and shake well or prrr like a horse.

CLICK HERE for internet stupidity

"...feel and shake well or prrr like a horse...." - WTF!?!? - Eric

Thursday, April 07, 2005

how not to get your ass kicked by the police

The name says it all. Thank you Chris Rock! This is the iFilm page with the video link on it. Click on the video link

CLIKC HERE for details!

Here's a good backup link if the first one doesn't work: CLICK HERE

Pulp Hockey

If you don't find this at least a littel funny. You're a butt-taster. This is somehow tied in with how Hockey is the last 'white-man's' proffessional sport, I'm just not sure how.

CLICK HERE for Pulp Fiction - Professional Hockey COMEDY!

SATANICIDE

Da boyz in Satanicide are from Jer-Z and have colectivley kicked more Rock N' Roll ass then Kiss and Zep and AC/DC and Skid Row and tha Crue all put together oh yeah and Sabbath! I have seen every Satanicide show sins the summer of 86' wen they playd in Bayonne, NJ at tha RATTLE-AX wich wuz a festival of rock mayhem wich wuz kicked off by Satanicide. No uther bands wanted to go on after them because they rocked so fuckin' hard there wuz nothin those shitty bands cood hav done to top them and not to mention they burned part of the stage down with this pyrotechnic that Devlin made in his basement. Aleister playd the most rippin 45 minute guitar solo ever played and I saw most of it so I no it rokked. And thare wer thees chicks that my cusin Herb brought over and we went out to my car to smoke some weed and this chick wuz like nice moccasins and I said thanks they are my brothers and shit and I new we were gonna get laid but then I got high and drank to many beers and so I had to pee so I went back in side and Aleister wuz still rippin' but I must hav passed out in the bathroom cuz wen I woke up the club wuz dark and I wuz locked in there so I just fired up the tap and drank until they reopend wich I think wuz on Monday cause they are closed on Sundays.

In conclewshun if you ever get a chance to see the greatest rock band on earth which is Satanicide you shood definatly go see them because it is a fuckin party!!!!!!

SATANICIDE

Be SURE to roll your mouse over the picture on the opening page - Eric

Jenna Bush, Booty-Slut

HAHAHAHA! OMG friends and neighbors! Just check out THIS article for fun and laffs at the expense of our moron president's moron daughter. Let me give you a quote:

"...Luckily for Jenna, the cameraman missed "the high point . . . Jenna on all fours doing 'the butt dance' — and doing it very well — as guys were ogling her thong..."

That SOOOO disappoints me! What's sad about our country is that we even CARE what a co-ed is doing at parties enough to make it national tv news. But what's even sadder is that because the Secret Service doesn't stop the dumbass ho, the rest of the world gets to tsk tsk our 'royal family' for being the ill bred, poor-decision-making scoobs that they are.

Click Here for the whole tawdry, sordid hoopla

Pope reborn as superhero in Colombian comic

POPEMAN

CLICK HERE for the full, GLORIOUS story

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Girl held for sex with dog

Mopani police spokesperson Superintendent Moatshe Ngoepe reported that the incident began as a rumour.

"Villagers heard that the young girl always had sex with three male dogs, so they lay in wait to catch her in the act," he said.

They claim to have seen at least one dog and the girl going behind her family's house on Monday afternoon last week and "surprised" them.

Police were called and arrested the child for bestiality.

Oh there's more! CLICK HERE

Some See Hand of Devil in Deaths of Schiavo, Pope

Oh dear GOD, people!! Will you Jesus Freaks all please just shut up and fuck off!??! Look at this my friends, LOOK AT IT!!!

Here, I'll give you a sample...

"...Anyone who has been following the story of Terri has to recognize that this guy is the devil in some form," says Mark Bruschi, a former security guard who left his job in Dayton, OH, and traveled to Pinellas Park, FL, to join last month's vigil in front of the hospice where Terri Schiavo lived. "Is he the Antichrist? It's still too early to tell. The Tribulation is just getting started—we haven't even seen the wrath of the lamb yet," says Bruschi, referring to the period during which God is expected to unfurl his vengeance on the earthly world. "Get back to me then and I'll let you know if Schiavo is your guy..."

CLICK HERE for Christio-insanity!

The End of an Era ( for me )

I am leaving my INCREDIBLY SOUL-SUCKING JOB at Apple at the end of the month. I didn't get tapped for a full-employee-status hire-on with the company from my temporary position.
In a way this is a good opportunity. I have, after MANY years in tech support, come to absolutely hate the actual job of being tethered to a phone, answering often difficult or more often merely stupid questions, while bean-counting chowderheads breath down my neck about such trivial minutia as how long it takes me to get people off the phone and whether or not I fill in every possible blank on a 30-entry form about every single call I take.
It's a degrading, repetitive, thankless job where you are underpaid, completely unappreciated for the important factors of what you do, and generally thought of as a disposable commodity because so many unknowing FOOLS covet the position.

As I was saying in the beginning, this is my chance, the powers of fate, or mere random chance, have conspired to give me another opportunity to do something different. To do something that I can actually enjoy. THIS is a fine opportunity to find work that I can really, actually apply myself to and feel good about doing at the end of the day. Which probably means I'll make half of the meager twelve dollars an hour I make now. Yay! Lifestyle change to shittier conditions, Hoooooo!

Anyhow, I just had to vent this morning.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

MONGOLIAN CLUSTERFUCK

I have a weird phrase going through my head this afternoon. It's from my Father's generation. I used to hear him and the other men of the same age group use it on construction sites and when discussing things that were not going well.
the phrase is : " Mongolian Clusterf*ck "

for some reason the cognitive resonance of that phrase is with me today like an echo in the corridors of a vast library.
Having married a chinese girl, it makes me want to ask her about it. You know, like..." So, uh...those Mongolians witht he horses and the steppes and the ghengis Khan and all that...um...did they really used to 'clusterf*ck?"

and then I would be all, " uh, and if so, uh...do you know how that was done? Could you demonstrate, perhaps, some of the key bodily positions of the act and all....you know...for science sake...."

Sunday, April 03, 2005

APRON OF FLESH !!!!!!