Friday, December 18, 2009

8 relatively unusual deviant sexual practices

8 relatively unusual deviant sexual practices
1. Going into toilets and disguising your mouth as a toilet bowl so that strangers shit in it.
2. Supergluing your nipples to the back of a bus.
3. Playing nude hopscotch in school playgrounds.
4. Secretly coating your body in brylcream and cling film under your clothes before going badger baiting.
5. Making "love" to shop store dummies in the middle of Debenhams.
6. Having your genitals pierced and linked to your dogs genital piercings.
7. Inserting beetles into the anus of your sleeping flatmates.
8. Taking your girlfriends soiled underpants and paying a prostitute to smell them.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

8 DOs and DON'Ts about collecting sweat

8 DOs and DON'Ts about collecting sweat
1. DO take off your hat. The sweat might well kill germs but it also fries your scalp.
2. DO ensure collection of underarm deposits for scientific usage.
3. DO carry home your friends in a bag. They are so embarrassed.
4. DO show your friends your collection.
5. DON'T hog the vials. You'll get your turn.
6. DON'T leave the sweat out in the sun. Why? Because...sweat sweats too!
7. DON'T read too much into your results. They may be slanted by growths.
8. DON'T press your lips against the soothing machine. Corrupted!