SOMETHINGAWFUL.com

A smorgasbord of great crap to look at! See all the entertaining things to see here. It's a lot to look upon. Someday, maybe this site will be so chock-a-block full.

CLICK HERE FOR SOMETHING AWFUL

ACTIONGIRLS.com

Naked chicks with automatic weapons. Insert your own "bazookas" joke here. Or don't, I guess.

CLICK HERE for Action Girls

FEMINAZI.com

HERE'S THE SITE'S OPENING STATEMENT:

"A few years ago I became involved in civil rights issues that pertain to men. My involvement included writing over 30 articles that were pro-male in nature.

In early 1997, two women maliciously violated my civil rights. In the process, they were willing to sacrifice a little boy and his mother. They did this because they did not like the fact that I had written these pro-male articles.

This site exposes these women, what they did, and some of the people covering it up."

Portal of Evil's summation says it all:

"Seattle man who happens to write "pro male articles" gets kicked out of Big Brothers and decides that it must have been because of an evil feminist agenda. Bonus Material: Denies being a pedophile just enough to lend the accusation some plausibility.'

HAHAHAHAHA--ERIC

TIME OUT FOR FUN

WEBSITE FORMAT CHANGE POSSIBLY IN NEAR FUTURE!

I have invited the members of the First Esoteric Church of Cthulhu to join me in authoring this site. If they decide to accept. there will be a format change such that there will be 2-5 different authors of the site and we may see the introduction of more voice posts as well from roving authors. I look forward to this new format and I sincerely believe that you will enjoy it even more, as there will be even MORE content to experience.

--Rev. Willman

BATMAN'S Greatest Boner...

Oh yeah, YOU heard me!

CLICK HERE

AGONYS.com

This is a site full of weird, bizarre, strange and disturbing facts, information and stuff!

It's also interesting, we all seem to have a morbid fascination for the weird things in life, be it our own body, what others get up to or the world around us.

Be warned though there is information in this site you really might not want to know, do you want to know about the bacteria that are around you, is ignorance bliss?! It's for you to decide!

Apart from lots of interesting facts, anecdotes, stories and information we also hope to educate as well as shock and disturb... what one person thinks is disgusting is normal to another. Likewise what was once abhorrant behaviour, is now accepted and vice versa.

Being exposed to gross and bizarre information can also help us be more tolorant of others, to quote Oscar Wilde "Vulgarity is the behaviour of others". For example, we all pick our noses, but think someone picking their nose is gross!

CLICK HERE to check it all out

BABES IN SPACE!!!!!

The Babes in Space gallery was part of the Penn State Science Fiction Consortium Web site from May of 1997 to May of 1998.

CLICK HERE

How to Overthrow a Country

Subjugation of a nation is a tremendous undertaking requiring foresight, ingenuity, and careful thought. The first task of many is to decide whether the country is a suitable candidate for a drastic and sudden change in government. The degree of difficulty varies with size, population, political awareness, and literacy.

OH YES,BABY! CLICK HEEEERE!

How to Disappear

If you wanted to dissappear and stay missing here are seven steps to do it.

Step one: change your name. Research newspaper accounts of children dying about the time you were born; note the parents' names and proceed to the Bureau of Vital Statistics to order a copy of the kids birth certificate. Take the birth certificate to the post office and apply for a new Social Security number; if this is a problem, due to new SS regulations, simply advise the Social Security Administration of your name change and have your SSN reflect this. Take your new Social Security card and birth certificate to the voters'-registration office and apply for a voter's card. With these three pieces of identification, you can apply for a driver's license, preferably in a larger city. (Be sure and have those documents sent to an address other than your own, such as that of a mial-forwarding service.

THERE'S MORE! CLICK HERE!

HOW TO HACK VENDING MACHINES

Welcome. I will tell you about the programming menu (also known as Service Mode) on some vending machines. There are 2 types of machines: the Glass Front Vender (with a 3X6 keypad) and the plain, old ones with several choices. They're both the same.

Now, if you are lucky, the "service person" refilling the machine forgot to close the machine's door, go up to it.

The glass front model has a keypad. Press 4231, and you're in! You'll get several options. To change prices, go to "PRICE" to change it.

Here's the following commands for either model.

1=Go To Previous Menu
2,3=Go To an Option
4=Enter

"Price" setting routine
Use 2/3 to cycle to the option, and press 4 to change it. Then set the price.

If cash is what you're loocking for, go to Coinpayo (or CPO)
Press 4 to Enter, then use 2/3 to select an ammount, then hold 4 and money will come out!

Here's a situation:

There's a store you hate. They have a Glass front vendor. Go to TESTMENU, press 4, select RELAYS, press 4, then press 4 when it says COMPR #, press 4 to have it say COMPR 1 and run like hell!

I have the service manual. Email me if ya want it!

It says "Caution: Failure to disconnect power to the compressor before testing the compressor relay will cause damage to the compressor."

*DC Industries*

35 Ways to Annoy Your Neighbor

HERE'S A SAMPLE:

Kidnap his dog and shave it
Move your garbage/recycling pile to his/her garbage/recycling pile
Play Ding-Dong-Ditch at his house
Prank call him, say u are a stalker, then have your friend talk to you on a walky-talky saying what the guy/girl is doing
Kidnap his dog
Watch porn at high volume
Destroy his garbage/recycling pile
Kidnap his cat and shave it
Burn his lawn
Burn his cat

There's much , MUCH more! Click HERE

100 Ways to be a Better Asshole

HERE'S A SAMPLE:

Argue with everybody.
Touch the paintings at the museum.
Get hysterical.
Threaten law suits.
Insinuate, implicate and insist.
If you got it, flaunt it.
Eat produce at the grocery store and don't pay for it.
Gamble with the rent money.
Record over a borrowed vcr tape
Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't.

I can only recommend that you CLICK HERE

101 Ways to Annoy a Fascist

HERE'S A SAMPLE:

1) Tell him his armband is inside-out.

2) Re-arrange his golf club covers without telling him.

3) Tell him he has ring-around-the-collar on his brownshirt.

4) Insult his pit bull.

5) Shoot his pit bull.

6) Shoot him.

You KNOW you wanna CLICK HERE

Angry Bed Positions

This is a SWEET diagram and description of the stupid sleeping dynamics of arguing couples who have to share a bed. It is OH-so-true in every way

CLICK HERE

Spiritual BDSM

"Living in the principles of spiritual D/s brings a peaceful union and fulfillment in a couple's covenant of trust as they grow together, understanding it is a lifetime commitment before God." Pagan crazy meets whips and chains for non-stop action!

click here

Freeballers of America (FBOA)

Freeballers of America (FBOA)! Freeballers of America is the world's first and only organization dedicated to representing and advancing our rights to be Freeballers. FBOA is not only an organization, it is a revolution. Both men and women are encouraged to enroll in this organization. Exercise your rights today, and dare to get air. Please read on to find out how you can become one of the proud charter members of this fine organization. Its time to stand up and proclaim to the world, I DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR. If you wish to become a registered Freeballer, you will receive a great looking embroidered shirt with our logo, a certificate suitable for framing, business card, and great pride.  Dare to get air!!  Join today by Clicking Here or continue reading to learn of other benefits you will receive as a member in good hanging.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

EL PACHUCO!!!

For when you absolutely positive have to look good for the bitches, hos, and senoritas, El Pachuco is there to help you look your pimpin' best. And they deliver. Dare you to plan your wedding with them.

VIVA EL PACHUCO

The Fascist Ideology of Star Trek: Militarism, Collectivism, & Atheism

Just look at this:

"...Too much of Star Trek has always reflected trendy leftist political sentiments. It was appropriate that John Lennon's "Imagine" should have been sung at the 30th Anniversary television special: Capitalism and religion get little more respect from Star Trek than they do from Lennon. Profit simply cannot be mentioned without a sneer. The champions of profit, the Ferengi, not only perceive no difference between honest business, piracy, and swindle, but their very name, the Hindi word for "European" (from Persian Farangi), seems to be a covert rebuke to European civilization. At the same time, one can find little in the way of acknowledgement of the role of religion in life that, whether in India or in Europe, would be essential. Although exotic extraterrestrials, like the Klingons and Bajorans, have quaint religious beliefs and practices, absolutely nothing seems to be left of the historic religions of Earth: There are no Jews, no Christians, no Moslems, no Buddhists, no Hindus, no Jains, no Confucians, and no Sikhs, or anything else, on any starship or settlement in the Federation. (Star Trek is, not to put too fine a point on it, what the Nazis called "Judenfrei," free of Jews [note], a condition that Marx also anticipated with the death of Capitalism--though Leonard Nimoy did introduce, subversively, the hand sign of the Hebrew letter "shin" to signify the Trek benediction, "Live long and prosper.") With no practitioners, there are no chaplains for the crew--no ministers, no priests, no rabbis, no mullas, no brahmins, no monks, no nuns. The closest thing to religious advice is the tedious psycho-babble of counselor Troi...."

Dude! People have to SHUT THE FUCK UP about Star Trek allready! GEEZ!! - Eric

Click Here for the WHOLE essay

THE ULTIMATE SENTAI WEBSITE

This page is dedicated to 'live-action' Japanese tv superheroes, mostly from the 1970s. These heroes may be humans with special powers (Rainbowman) or cyborgs (Kamen Rider) or androids (Kikaida) or aliens from another world (Zone Fighter), but they have one thing in common, when innocent people are threatened by evil forces they henshin, transform, into their battle form to combat the evil.

Basically this site has all the infor from every Ultraman, Johnny Sokko, Space Giants type show EVER made! - Eric

Click Here

Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I don't care WHAT anyone says about me for what I'm about to say but I FREAKIN' LOVE THAT BURGERKING TENDER CRISP BACON CHEDDAR RANCH COMMERCIAL!!!!!

Yeah, I've heard all the arguments about black exploitation and sexism and all that shit but DUDE!! That commercial is the shiznit!! I have to admit that the first time I saw it, my mouth was open with amazement and partial disbelief! I mean, I was like, who is this 'pickin'-n-grinnin', 'uncle-tom' negro? Am i really seeing these comically hot chicks PUMPING a hand cart like that? IS THAT THE OLD EARLY EIGHTIES BURGER KING IN THE BACK!?! I couldn't believe it. Seriously.

CLICK HERE to see the GLORY!!

That commercial is the BOMB. And any man who tries to say otherwise is just trying to impress a chick so she'll lay him. Deal with it! This is commercial gold.

Here's the words to the song:

When my belly starts a-rumblin', and I'm jonesin' for a treat.
 I close my eyes for a big surprise, the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch.
 I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch, the breasts they grow on trees.
 And streams of bacon ranch dressing, flow right up to your knees.
 Tumbleweeds of bacon, and cheddar paves the streets.
 Folks don't [Unintelligable] ya cause ya got the juice, there's a train of ladies comin' with a nice caboose.
 Never get in trouble, never need an excuse, the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch.
 I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch no one tells ya to behave.
 Your wildest fantasies come true, Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves.
 Red onions make you laugh instead, and french fries grow like weeds.
 Ya get to veg all day, all the lotto tickets pay.
 The king who wants you to have it your way, that's the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

--Eric

Miss Gay America!

HAHAHAHAHA!! AAaaaw yeah! here it is. Nowhere will you find a more comprehensive hive of pictures of trannys on the internet. In their absolute MOST insane outfits, WORKIN'-IT on the stage for the prize. You GO girl!

To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything

RideAccidents.com

It's the world's single most comprehensive, detailed, updated, accurate, and complete source of amusement ride accident reports and related news. The site includes a record of fatal amusement ride accidents in the United States since 1972, and, for the past six years, has recorded all types of accidents, including many from outside the United States. The number of injuries and fatalities recorded at this site does not reflect the total number of injuries and deaths that have occurred as a result of amusement ride accidents. RideAccidents.com is not affiliated with any government agency, amusement industry organization, or consumer advocacy group.

CLICK HERE for horror! I know I have experinced GREAT FEAR of some of the cheap, poorly maintained carnival rides I've been on. - Eric

Survival Research Labs

Survival Research Laboratories was conceived of and founded by Mark Pauline in November 1978. Since its inception SRL has operated as an organization of creative technicians dedicated to re-directing the techniques, tools, and tenets of industry, science, and the military away from their typical manifestations in practicality, product or warfare. Since 1979, SRL has staged over 45 mechanized presentations in the United States and Europe. Each performance consists of a unique set of ritualized interactions between machines, robots, and special effects devices, employed in developing themes of socio-political satire. Humans are present only as audience or operators.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

Homosexual Urban Legend Series

Traditional Values Coalition has launched a media effort called the “Homosexual Urban Legend Series.”

In their words: "...This informational service is designed to provide reporters, editors, and other opinion leaders with accurate information on the relationship between homosexuality and the molestation of children. It will also expose and debunk dozens of factually inaccurate urban legends created by homosexual activist groups to promote their political and social agenda...."

What this really is is right-wing fundamentalist propaganda masquerading as serious fair and balanced reporting exposing the homosexual agenda. - Eric


Click Here for Bigotry and Intolerance

My Friend Liz

Famous for her "World Class" trick that she does.

Lab Report

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, returning a few moments later with a big Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the! duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1500!" she cried, "$1500 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged.

"I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, the prices go way up."

Answering Machine Message for the Mental Health Institute

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive or compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6
If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, but stay on the line while we trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Thank you , Liz. - Eric

AKS A WHITE BITCH!

The name says it all. White bitch laffs R here

Click Here, Nigga!

Dungeons & Dragons For Dummies

Overwhelmed? Just want to play? Learn the ins and outs of D&D and start playing right away with Dungeons & Dragons For Dummies. Book produced in partnership with Wizards of the Coast and written by D&D game designers!

Click Here

Okay, if you didn't get thje rulebook, how is this going to help!??! - Eric

Richard Marchand

"...Sometimes, rather than people getting ideas, it is ideas, which get people.
Living concepts pass through the ether of human experience finding suitable hosts.
At this moment I am a willing and grateful host.
This site is an expression of thanks to the ideas which have recently embraced me..."
--Richard Marchand

See the sweet frickin gallery - Eric

CLICK HERE FOR BADASS ART

MEGAMEK

MegaMek is an unofficial, online version of the Classic BattleTech board game.

Currently, nearly all level 1 BattleTech rules and technology are working. Work is progressing on level 2 rules and technology, and most of those are functional at this point. Even some level 3 rules have been added.

MegaMek is open source, free software. It is licenced under the GPL.

CLICK HERE NOW

This is so cool you're going to need new underpants after you see it! - Eric