Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Human Bread

Europe's First Pyramid - Structure Nearly the Size of Giza North of Sarajevo

Bosnia's leading Muslim daily Dnevni Avaz writes excitedly about "a sensational discovery" of "the first European pyramid" in the central town of Visoko, just north of Sarajevo.Excavations at a hill site above the town have been going on for several months and initial analyses "have confirmed the original claim that this is Europe's first pyramid and a monumental building, similar in dimensions to the Egyptian pyramids."


Super-troopers: Stalin wanted Planet of the Apes-like troops, insensitive to pain and hardship.

THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.


Monster name decoder

E.R.I.C. W.I.L.L.M.A.N.: Evil, Ravenous Insanity-Consumed Wimp-Injuring, Livestock-Lacerating Monster from the Arcane Necropolis



Now check out this use of one’s LEGO time…


A letter to Scott

Hi Scott listen, I hate my job and I need someone to come over and kill me and set fire to the office building with my corpse still in it. Can you help me out here?

Oh, and when your done with that can you resurrect my charred, Freddy Krueger-esque corpse with some blasphemous Kabalistic magic so I can shamble north to Washington D.C. and wreak my horrible ‘vengeance from beyond the grave’ on all ‘the living’ at our headquarters too?

I would surely be obliged if you would maybe squirt flesh eating bacteria on my coworkers too. And if it’s not too much, could you maybe crash into all their cars as well?

Oh and, could you kill me one or two more times too? I would really prefer that to staying here any more today or getting fired for shutting down into a vegetative state in my cubicle.

The office is not too far from your house!

E. Z. Willman
Sheshunoff Information Services

From Chris

Chris Said:
man this is funny, you need audio. a good clean laugh.

I kicked my neighbor because someone offered me $1,000,000.00

Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a gangster
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an IPod
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------a homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White------because I'm cool like that.
Black-------because that's how I roll.
Pink--------because I'm NOT a homosexual.
Red---------because the voices told me to.
Blue--------because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green------because I hate myself.
Purple------because I'm cool.
Gray--------because I was drunk.
Yellow------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange----because I hate my family.
Brown-----because I was high.
Peach-------because I love oatmeal.
Other-------because I'm a ninja.
None------because I cant control myself.


1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) >From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8 ) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done? Scroll down to check your answers below.

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) >From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course.

The Meatrix


oh yeah, y'all should check this out


Today, during my 'in-between moments' at work. I have been reading Aesop's Fables in an attempt to be entertained and enlightened. I read this one and considered it's moral. I think it's provacative and interesting. What do you feel is the moral of this ancient tale?

A poor Man had a wooden Image of a god, to which he used to pray daily for riches. He did this for a long time, but remained as poor as ever, till one day he caught up the Image in disgust and hurled it with all his strength against the wall. The force of the blow split open the head and a quantity of gold coins fell out upon the floor. The Man gathered them up greedily, and said, "O you old fraud, you! When I honoured you, you did me no good whatever: but no sooner do I treat you to insults and violence than you make a rich man of me!"


Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and then I can go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.


Midget KISS tribute band = AWESOME!!!



Chris submitted this video for our education and amusement



This is pretty funny shit right here.