A SOURCE OF MOMENTARY AMUSEMENT

When this page loads and you see the spider. move your mouse custor around the blu area slowly and the spider will untiringly pursue it. You can leadit all over the damn place. it walks with a very neat animation. Check it out

CLICK HERE

ECCENTRIS.com

Kick ASS web design here. don't even BOTHER if you dont have broadband though.

ECCENTRIS.com

Electron Microscope Pictures of Insects

Come explore familiar and unexpected views of the microscopic world with these colorized images from electron microscopes at the University of Hawaii. To begin, please click any image to enlarge and learn more.

CLICK HERE

Johnny Beinart's Toy Gallery

Fucked up toys made from body parts. They kinda rule.

CLICK HERE

CRYPTONAUT

kind of annoying to navigate but lots of images to steal for goth show flyers and CD case slipcovers

Click here for ART

Visionary Designs in Transportation Engineering

Visionary Designs in Transportation Engineering:
A well made site. check it out. From Berkely or somewhere like that.

CLICK HERE

RAND Corporation's 1954 design for a home computer

I SO TOTALLY FELL FOR THIS when i saw it. I am a DUPE, A Scoob, a mark, a rube!! How embarrassing. Don't get had, see this site today!!

A November 2004 version of this piece opens with: "This article is from an issue of 1954 Popular Mechanics magazine forecasting the possibility of 'home computers' in 50 years. It appears that the 'mouse' replaced the steering wheel . . ."

CLICK HERE

Novel Technology = Technovelgy

Simply stated, this site OWNS! It has info about all kinds of freaky technology that has been concieved or is in some stage of research now. It has shit in it you never even THOUGHT of! Checkit out

CLICK HERE

HOAX IMAGE GALLERY

These are REALLY good faked images in some cases

CLICK HERE

Why study H. P. Lovecraft?

Why study H. P. Lovecraft? In the minds of some critics and scholars this question still evidently requires an answer, and will perhaps always require an answer so long as standard criticism maintains its inexplicable prejudice against the tale of horror, fantasy, and the supernatural. In the space I have I cannot hope to present a general defense of the weird tale; but I can at least suggest that Edmund Wilson's condemnation of Lovecraft's work as "bad taste and bad art" ("Tales of the Marvellous and the Ridiculous" [1945]) may, at the very least, have been a little myopic.

Why study H. P. Lovecraft?

The Georgia Guidestones

On one of the highest hilltops in Elbert County, Georgia stands a huge granite monument. Engraved in eight different languages on the four giant stones that support the common capstone are 10 Guides, or commandments. That monument is alternately referred to as The Georgia Guidestones, or the American Stonehenge. Though relatively unknown to most people, it is an important link to the Occult Hierarchy that dominates the world in which we live.

The origin of that strange monument is shrouded in mystery because no one knows the true identity of the man, or men, who commissioned its construction. All that is known for certain is that in June 1979, a well-dressed, articulate stranger visited the office of the Elberton Granite Finishing Company and announced that he wanted to build an edifice to transmit a message to mankind. He identified himself as R. C. Christian, but it soon became apparent that was not his real name. He said that he represented a group of men who wanted to offer direction to humanity, but to date, almost two decades later, no one knows who R. C. Christian really was, or the names of those he represented.

There's so much more! CLICK HERE

Naree Pons

This was interesting to me. Maybe to you too. A wierd little thing that appears to be a mummified fairy

Click Here

The truth about author H. P. Lovecraft

Mention of the name Howard Phillips Lovecraft might elicit nothing more than a noncommittal shrug from most people, but for fans of the macabre he is still a revered figure, held in awe for his unique literary visions of cosmic horror.

LOVECRAFT

The Young Man`s Book of Amusement

This wonderful book was published in 1854 and within its 384 pages are Gems of Victorian Science. It`s unpromising, mildly suggestive title belies a veritable cornucopia of experiments.
A vast selection of interesting (& some highly ill-advised) experiments & pastimes from the 19th Century are presented within chapters on -
magnetism,  chemistry,  optics,  electricity,  galvanism,  pneumatics,  hydrostatics & hydraulics,  acoustics,  magic-lantern,  cards,  magic figures,  misc. experiments  &  fire-works.

The Young Man's Book of Amusement

THE EYE OF SCIENCE

This is a REALLY well made site. Check out the boss images they present. Both in German and English. Great Web design.

Do Click Here

Nuclear Testing Images

The name says it all. Baddass pics of atomic explosions. Good background material for band flyers

Click Here

FREAKY GIANT HORRIFFIC MONSTERS FOR SALE

This is kinda cool. This company makes life size creatures like those from Quake and Doom. Great for your living room.

CHECK IT OUT

STRANGE & COOL things to buy

A 190 page shopping journey of weird, lovely and dead stuff, from shrunken heads to cameos, from sharks teeth to opal, ivory, dichroic glass and amber jewelry, from alien stuff to rocks, from prehistoric doo-doo to jewelry boxes...prepare for a journey to all continents and eras...

Click Here to start shopping

HubCap Creatures

"All around us are things of beauty and value, but their attributes are interpreted very subjectively. I believe that things utilitarian, or which give pleasure to the eye have the highest value. I come across many things which have been abandoned and find something more in them than their intrinsic worthlessness." --from the site

You will be impressed by this guys vision and skill. Seriously! --Eric

These Are Cool

I HATE MY JOB AND I'M TAKIN' YOU FUCKERS WITH ME!

The Bill of No Rights

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other simpering, bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in health care.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX:
You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

*The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye, or Lewis Napper, not sure....

Click here for the source

THE GET UBER QUICK PLAN

Tired of being a poindexter? Sick of going to the clubs solo? Want more out of life? Wish you could be a cool guy like Tito THE GET UBER QUICK PLAN WORKS!

'Get UBER Quick employs amazing, fabulous, unbelievable strategies for building massive uberness!'

'You can turn your UBER-tastic dreams into reality!'

'You can become a world-renowned UBERMASTER in no time flat!'

UBER UBER UBER!

YPL Life-Sized Blow Up Priest Doll

Little Jimmy doesn't have many friends to play with during recess. He was also overweight and did poorly in school. But ever since he was given Father Tom, Jimmy's doing great!

It's hard being a parent in this modern world. Giving your child a loving and portable nurturing device or, your failure to, could mean the difference between Good-Little Jimmy and Crackhead-Fag-Little Jimmy.

With a Priest Doll, your Child will develop a special bond. This bond is so strong, it's SECRET!

THIS IS SO FRICKIN GREAT!

Ah yes...

KILL YOUR BOSS

Okay the premise is that you are sitting in your cube doing your monkey-job and then the boss comes up and hassles you, as they are wont to do. So then you click on the various objects in your cubicle and then KILL HIM UTTERLY with them...it rocks

Click here for office joy

Ninjas Vs. Pirates; The Universal Question

This entry transcribed from a post on ubersite.com

That's right, for centuries the debate over which satanical group of fighters would win in battle has loomed. While obvious answers have been given, "Pirates would win at sea." And "Ninjas are better in the woods."; The question to who would win the overall war has not been answered. We need to know who will win it all, not just the battle. So I'll make a list of stats for each, and then prove to you there is a real answer; And It is ninjas.

Pirates:
Ruthless and brutal
Wear eye patches
Fight with swords
Represented by a skull and bones
Obnoxious and stink horribly
Have large shadows from being fat
Launch cannonballs
Ride in big wooden boats
Put daggers in their teeth
Say "Arrrrrrrrrrgghh"
Limp with pegged legs
Taught by other pirates
Have names like Schmee
Can be smelled before seen
Use rowboats
Drink all day long
Rely on other crew members
Make traitors walk a wooden plank
Don't bother hiding, ever
Kill people with black powder guns

Ninjas:
Lack any personality
Wear headbands
Fight skillfully with any object
Can remove a spleen in one swift motion
Live in your house secretly for days
Can remove their shadow if needed
Hurl shurikens
Go anywhere they want instantly
Catch bullets in their teeth
Kill themselves if they make a noise
Can run 100 miles on their hands
Train 20 hours/day starting from age 2
Have cool words like Sepuku
Are masters of disguise
Can hover for hours
Flip out and kill everything
Are completely self-sufficient
Split planks vertically with their nose
Can hide in incense smoke
Kill people

So, we can see that pirates do in fact have several positive qualities, like their constant drunkenness, but there is no way that they could win a fight against ninjas on a frequent basis.

There.
Fuck off if you don't agree.
I'll send ninjas to pull your spine out, put one end up your ass, and the other up your mom's forcing her to drag your limp, dying body behind her.

Fucking Awesome - Eric

Congo army blames Ninjas

The military authorities in Congo Brazzaville have accused the rebel Ninja militia of executing civilians in areas under their control, and of taking civilians hostage to use as human shields. A spokesman for the army Jean Robert Obargui said the rebel tactics had forced the military to carry out a helicopter attack on rebel positions in the south-western region of Pool over the weekend. He told reporters the mission had been successful and that civilians from the area had now begun arriving in the capital, Brazzaville.

The Ninjas have been fighting government forces in the area since last December.

From the newsroom of the BBC World Service

Then see this article here: Totally Sweet Ninjas attack Congo train


WTF!?? Ninjas!? There's a fucking ARMY of ninjas somewhere!!?? Dude. Why isn't this on TV? - Eric

GAYZILLA

I like to showcase the awesome freakshow that lurks on the internet. Ans here's a great example. I put "Gayzilla" into Google and here's what I got...

GAYZILLA!

NOMI - Klaus Nomi..

How it is that I never heard of this guy until now I do not know. I am embarrassed and ashamed that I could possibly have overlooked an insane character such as this. NOMI as he was apparently often referred to, was a musician and performance artist and a sort of "international / New York iconoclast" of the early 80s. He performed in many places, appeared on Saturday Night Live, performed with other New Wave performers like David Bowie and other 'scenesters' of the early 80s. And generally amused and enthralled the sort of people who would have attended a party at Dr. Frankenfurter's house, if you know what i mean.



First go see THIS TRAILER

Then go see THIS WEBSITE

SLO Mo the Rappin' Retard!!!

Oh, sweet jeebus, I wish I was kidding. Are there samples you ask? SHit yeah, bitch!!



Click here for the site of SLO Mo

Advanced weapon systems using lethal Short-pulse terahertz radiation from high-intensity-laser-produced plasmas

An ongoing project in the Indian Institute of Technology has found the seeds to a possible lethal weapon system for the defense initiatives in India.

The interaction between high-intensity, ultra-short laser pulses and plasmas leads to the emission of coherent, short-pulse radiation at terahertz frequencies. A device is developed that can use the short-pulse radiation at terahertz frequencies to deactivate any electronic systems many miles away and create a virtual shield for any advancing army, navy or air force.

According to the technologists this may be the future missiles and guns. These lethal devices are silent, do not emit any visible spectrum of light and is smokeless and odorless. The short pulse radiation can be used to destroy enemy weapon systems, command and control structures and bases. By varying the frequencies, the human being can be totally unharmed while all their software and hardware can be made useless.

If this kind of weapon systems is developed, the experts predict that there will be no need of physically attacking any country. Their infrastructure can be made useless without physical interference into that country.

A variation of such weapon systems can be targeted from Space Satellites also. Beaming the short-pulse radiation at terahertz from the Satellite can provide an electronic shield for the advancing Army, Airforce and Navy.

The biggest application of this technology can be in the area of anti-terrorism. When militants cross the border into countries like India, Israel, America or Russia, they can be detected and electronically eliminated. Assumption is that when their terror-devices are deactivated, they will become helpless.

A version of the same technology can be also be used to create illusionary effects in the radar systems of the enemy. It cannot create stealth but can create false perception in the radar detection systems.

Application of the technology can be made possible from many miles away. The application can also be used in detecting terrorists in the airport or other public areas.

CLICK HERE FOR THE ORIGNINAL ARTICLE

RAPSNACKS - the food for Rappers

This is so niche-marketed it's almost racist! Check this stuff out. They could've just called it "Nigger Chow" Jeez!

Click here to see the products

Purina Bachelor Chow

By choosing Purina Bachelor Chow, you are ensuring that all of your living single nutritional needs are met in a food formulated with on the highest quality ingredients. Purina Bachelor Chow is 100% complete and balanced, delivers 100% of the Purina Single Male Nutrient Requirements (SMNP) of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients for bachelors of all life stages, and has been developed to be highly digestible, and not even require the use of a microwave to prepare. Each ingredient in Bachelor Chow is selected for its role in delivering the 39 key nutrients men require, which will aid them in their pursuit of women, beer, and the perfect sound system for their Camaro. The excellent balance in Purina Bachelor Chow provides men the nutrition they need to be their best.

BACHELOR CHOW

Mute Tourettes Syndrome

Mute Tourettes Syndrome has long been in the shadow of its more famous sister-disease, 'Tourettes Syndrome', and although much rarer, is even more tragic in its consequences. While a child suffering from Tourettes has difficulty in containing its anger and frustration, a child with Mute Tourettes suffers the opposite fate, and is unable to express their true feelings. There is, however, an answer. A great deal has been achieved by the Mute Tourettes Foundation using new art therapy techniques. However, their work can only continue with your help. Just £1.37p will keep a child supplied with crayons for a whole day. £5 will provide them with enough paper for a week. Please give what you can to help this deserving cause.


Click Here for the most awesome picture you'll see today

White Man's Rage

This is this honkey's expression when he lost to Tiger Woods. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Whitey LOSER!!! Whatta GIMP!!

CLICK HERE TO LAUGH AT WHITEY

"what's your Porn Star name"

You take the name of your first pet as the first name and the 1st street you lived on as your last name.

Mine is Cody Cypress

Now you can find out yours

The Work Less Party

Everyday millions of people head off to factory plants, assembly lines and other institutions of production. We proudly make cell phones, cars, calculators, television sets and many more technologically wondrous goods that after a few years of service land up in landfills polluting our air and water supplies. The facts are clear, we are proudly working and sacrificing endless hours of our own personal well being to make things that are having a detrimental impact on the planet.


According the the United Nations close to a million species of plants and animals could disappear from the face of the earth in the next 50 years.


There is only one solution to this disaster.
"Workers of the world - RELAX !!!!"

Its time for a change.
Its time to reduce the work week to 32 hours.
Its time for music, family, art, education, community, friends, adventure, sharing and sanity.

Workers of the world - RELAX !!!!

CATAPULT!!!

Catapult glory, these are animated gifs, go to the site and just let em roll

Catapult 1

Catapult 2

Superman is a BIG FAG!!!

Okay I now have evidence. Click on each of these damning evidence exibits for my indisputible proof!

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

Exhibit E

And the ULTIMATE, the Wookie Defense, the UTTER PROOF...

Exhibit F ( Where F stands for 'Fuck a little boy in the butt'. )

There you have it, Superman is Gay. I rest my case.

Napolean Dynamite soundboard sweetness

Click for Napolean Dynamite Glory

check it!

This would be a sweet party invite picture

A longer conversation with Liz

This conversation was such a hoot I had to share it. It is both funny AND informative.
--Eric

ME: A person was saying the other day within earshot of me, that any girl/woman was only "X" daiquiris away from a hot, girl-on-girl action encounter. Where the variable "X" is a certain number between one and ten.
what say you to this claim?
I raised an eyebrow.
I thought I should ask an expert ( a girl/woman ) for verification. In case there was something to it.

LIZ: Did you just say HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION? with a raised eyebrow no less?

ME: that was the term voiced, I believe. i am pretty sure that "Hot, girl-on-girl action " was the term that was used in that statement during that conversation

LIZ: I say the number is 6 when its daquiris, 3 for serious shots.....

ME: hahahaha! So it is true!!! I should note that the person expounding this theory was a long time emploiyee of Apple computers and should not be taken as an expert in anything except maybe star-trek trivia

LIZ: The only way a fucking uber cadet like that is gonna see some girl on girl action is at 1800-fuck-my-ass.com. His sexual knowledge is inferior

Me: 6 daiquiris you said

Liz: depends on how strong they are. the daquiris, not the women...

Me: spring break carribean vacation daiquiris I assume. I could be wrong. I always assume that the strength of a girl drink is measured in "Dexter St.-Jaques" which are units of alcohol spewed out by grinning Caribbean negro bartenders in tourist towns on the islands. something between three and six finger, on-the-rocks shots minimum. so imagine, in a worst case scenario, six daiquiris with a 'six-finger shot' content of alcohol each. DAMN, that could certainly lead to uninhibited behavior. and don't forget that somehow, Reggae music is a contributive factor in the unit measurement of "Dexter St.-Jaques"

Liz: You said grinning carribean negroe bartenders

Me: I did, with accents, even! Like in "whatchoo be cryin' 'bout, mon?" and 'av annudduh dak'ree lil white-girl ah-ah-ah
( laughs like the old seven up commercial guy )The...One hour and forty-five minutes later...there's hot girl-on-girl action.

Liz is the source of all lesbian, daquiri-sex knowledge

A short conversation with Liz:

Me: Can my streetgang be named the "Atomic Robot Overlords" in a fit of inexplicable retro "Warriors" style insanity? and will you be a pistol-chick in my gang? Or maybe a switch-blade vixen? You get to dress up in leather nazi regalia and stilletto-heel-kick people in the nutsack
Liz: I prefer throwing star tart, or just plain poison dart whore
ME: POISON DART WHORE!!!!!
LIZ: you heard me
ME: like in 'Enter the Dragon". Like 'poison dart frog', but whore-ier

Liz is great. Who else would come up with 'Throwing Star Tart" - ERIC

The completely uncensored absolutely true Ren and Stimpy story.

This is it folks, the complete true story of how John K. created Ren & Stimpy, founded Spümcø, sold R&S to Nickelodeon, how Nick lied and fired John K., how that big oaf Bob Camp stabbed John K. in the back and all kinds of other crap. Read it!

CLICK HERE RIGHT NOW

the "how to have 'dungeons and dragons' themed sex" guide

this morning, while joking around with my girlfriend, i referred to my "male implement" as a "wand of fucking +2," and proceeded to request that she make a saving throw against orgasm. she immediately lashed out at me, stating that if i ever attempted to mix our sex life and dungeons and dragons ever again, there'd be hell to pay - and not the kind of hell that you get to ever have sex with ever again. this all got me to thinking - maybe her reaction to d+d-themed sex was simply caused by inexperience in the field?

after all, everyone's scared of the unknown, and i'm fairly sure that i was the first boyfriend of hers who'd brought up the subject. so in an attempt to clear the path, not only for myself, but for countless others as well, i present to you the official guide to having d+d-themed sex.

step one: obtain a significant other with whom you can have sex. this step can either be really easy or really difficult, depending on which sort of person you are. if you've "picked up chicks" before, then honestly, this should be a snap. just use whatever tricks you have up your sleeve - money, fame, that trick where you lick your own eyebrows - and grab yourself a mate. if, however, much like the rest of us, you have to rely on your own wit, charm, and repartee to lure a mate, then you've got a very simple recourse: money. wave lots and lots of money around. "look," you might say aloud, "my money's falling into my drink! are there any women who could do me a favor and pull this money out?" sure, you might not meet the right girl, but the chances are good you'll find a girl who won't care if you call her a half-elf in bed. the sort of girl who'd date you has probably been through worse.

step two: familiarize yourself with the rules of dungeons and dragons. it's very important that you complete this step after you get a mate, because - and let's be honest with ourselves - guys who play d+d don't get chicks. there's just something incredibly unsexy about a guy who has to resort to swigging mountain dew and pretending he's a three-foot dwarf named "g'nthal-tor" in order to loosen up and have a good time. if it's too late for that and you already know how to play, do not let your mate know this. hide your books and your dice, and shove your character sheet in with your tax information. then begin to read the manuals, starting with the player's manual. and before you ask, yes, it's important to memorize all of those tables. you will always need every single piece of that data memorized. and if you think you don't, you've never played with someone who says they have.

step three: the initial encounter. at first, d+d sex must be taken slow. while the male is likely incredibly excited at the thought of donning a warhelmet and engaging in a few "melee rounds," the female, sensitive creatures that they are, will probably be less enthusiastic. that's why there's a trick up your sleeve that will help warm them on to the idea: crappy romance novels.

ask her to pretend she's in "the secret garden" or some crap like that. with any luck, you'll appeal to the side of her that loves doilies and black-and-white movies where people dance all the time, and she'll run for the spare wheelchair so you can roleplay properly. bide your time, captain - let her pretend to be "anne of green gables." after some time, indicate to her that you'd like to act out a romance novel featuring a barbarian warlord. she'll most likely eat up the notion, which is when you bring out the first piece in true d+d sex: the dice. give them a roll on the end table in the middle of "the act" and yell out "crap! wandering monster!" insist that there's some sort of zombie or orc behind her, and grab a knife or blunt instrument (which you should have placed there beforehand) and pretend to beat the crap out of something. with any luck, your significant other will be weirded out, but view your actions in an endearing light. after all, you were the fierce barbarian who protected her lily-white ass; why shouldn't she be grateful? if she asks about the dice, be prepared to, at first, give some sort of sob story about your dead father and how they were his only gift to you. if your father is still alive, now might be a good time to give her the "terrible news." it's probably best to tell her he was consumed in an explosion at the gas station. that way she can't ask you to produce a body.

step four: easing into the rest of it the next time you have sex, take the dice out again and yell "saving throw against paralysis!" if you make it, pretend that you were just yelling in ecstasy. if, however, you fail the saving throw, refuse to move. if you can, maintain your erection indefinitely, laying (or sitting, or standing) motionless. make it her responsibility to find the clues you've hidden around the apartment that describe the ingredients for the "potion of suppleness." when she makes it and gives it to you, she may be very upset. make sure to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that you played along when she wanted you to stand outside in the cold with a damn boombox and a damn peter gabriel tape, and you caught a cold as a result, not to mention that she wouldn't stop calling you "mister cusack" during the act itself, and the least she could do for you was to mix fruit juice with club soda for you and pretend it was a magic potion, for god's sake.

hopefully this will guilt her into going along with saving throws. from here, you've got the bare bones of things you'll need for very quick quests. there's probably not much you can do to get her to engage in combat, so you'll have to resort to booby-traps and puzzles involving chess pieces. you may want to invest in a wireless speaker system so that when she's out of the room looking for the "ring of foreplay" or the "key to the bedroom door," you can play the part of the wizened, evil wizard, or the benevolent god of linoleum. "none shall pass," you can intone while she's pounding on the bedroom door (impatient thing!), "without the holy attire." then feel free to ignore the shouting about "i'm not wearing this degrading lingerie" and "i'm gonna rip off your goddamn testicles," and flip on the tv! hey - who says sex can't be fun? don't forget, if you play your cards right, you might be able to get something few 20th level mage/thieves ever got: butt-sex.

It's like a freaky, Hello-Kitty , Knight Rider hallucination

you must see it to believe it

click here to experience it

THE END OF THE WORLD

Turn up the sound and check it out. Reasonably safe for work.

The End of the World

this aint got nothing to do with R.E.M.

Prepare to get Shmooved

Girl, if there is any doubt in your mind as to what time it is, let me break it down for you: It is time for you to get Smooved.

Aw, baby, I know that I had said some things that made you mad, but I am extremely sorry. If you just come on home, I will make it up to you. I will take you to new stratospheres of love. I will sex you wild.

To make up for all the foolish things I said, tomorrow night, I will escort you to our crib, where I will prepare for you a romantic meal comprised of succulent lobster from the finest sea. We will both eat the lobster and enjoy a side dish of rice with it. There will also be a baked potato waiting for you, and some butter for you to place upon that potato. In addition, there will be sour cream, which you may also put on the potato if you so desire.

I will also serve juice.

Then, when we have each finished eating our meals, I will lay your body down on a bedsheet comprised of 100 percent silk, which I will purchase in advance from the finest store in this city. Then, just before we freak, I will inquire as to how you like the feel of the sheets. If you inform me that you do not like it, I will travel to other cities around the world until I locate a store that sells sheets that are more to your satisfaction. Then, I will purchase those sheets and return home to put them on the bed for you.

It is then that I will hit you doggy-style.

While I am freaking you, I will whisper various things in your ear. Some of the phrases I will say to you are, "Baby, you are my everything," "You feel so good, I can't stand it," and, "Girl, ride me." There will also be candles and a CD featuring the music of Keith Sweat to create an atmosphere of unbridled romance, making you wet.

This is how you will get Smooved.

Just say the word, and we will share interplanetary cocoa love until the break of dawn. We will bump across the galaxy, exploring the known solar system with our passion. We will journey to places even the astronomers have never been. We will bump to Pluto, as well as to the moon.

When we are through with the lovemaking aspect of our romantic evening together, I will still continue to attend to your needs. If you wish a grape to be placed in your mouth, I will place one there. It does not matter whether you want a purple grape or a white grape, as I will supply myself with grapes of both colors.

If you would like to be massaged with scented oils, I will appear behind you and do so. I will make sure to rub your neck and shoulders lovingly, neither rubbing so hard as to be painful, nor so soft as to be ineffectual for massaging purposes.

Aw, girl, I want to throw you on the floor right now and ride you hard.

To summarize my feelings, I love you, and that fact is inscrutable. If you could only find it in your heart to forgive me for all the foolish things I did and said, we could take a magical voyage to Atlantis together, sailing on a caravan of love. Just say the word, and I will sting you. I will Smoove you.

All night long.

Sho-Nuff, The Shogun of Harlem

Paranormal Daily News Sites

I was strolling about the internet today trying not to just walk out of my job in a glorious, cathartic moment of orgasmic freedom and joy. When I came across some websites that are devoted to news of the paranormal. They seemed entertaining and so I thought I would share them with you as a means of keeping abreast of the recent goings-on in the realm of the unusual. I hope you enjoy them.

Paranormalnews.com

ABOUT.com's paranormal page

The Paranormal News

The IRAAP

Fortean Times

Fate Magazine

At first glance this may seem like a lot, but it is a distillation of many MANY such places on the internet, down to the ones that seemed most frequently updated with new information or seemed to cover the broadest variety of topics.

The Despondant Rabbit

Sometimes amusing sometimes stupid reliably grim

click here for the netbunny suicide experience

Old Player

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." Thedoctor replied, "My point exactly."

Napolean dynamite is IN THE HIZOUSE!

sweet Napolean Dynamite t-shirts

THESE SHIRTS FRICKIN RUUUUULE!!!!!

Superman is a Dick

This site is much funnier than the mere name suggests

click here for insane super-comedy

Invisibility Shields are in our future!!

BELIEVE IT, SUCKERS!!!

click here for more

The A-Team Experiment

If you don't enjoy this you're a communist

A-Team

A Noble Personal Philosophy

Live your life such that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about his religion. Respect others in their views and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, or even a stranger, if in a lonely place. Show respect to all people, but grovel to none. When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. (If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.) Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes wise ones turn to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.
—Tecumseh (Shawnee Chief)

SECRET GAY HANDSHAKE

SECRET GAY HANDSHAKE

Wow! I never knew.

Midnight Society

Disclaimer:
Midnight Society is an organization dedicated to preserving local legends and lore of historical information dealing with the metropolitan area. The stories featured on the website are views expressed by our readers and may or may not necessarily be the views of the Midnight Society organization itself or its sponsors. The information provided in the stories posted may or may not be factual. We try out best to follow up on these stories and try to only post those that seem the most truthful. Midnight Society focuses on what the public are saying, whether or not it is factual or not. As we know many legends are not 100% factual. However we do believe there is always a bit of truth to many legends and stories.
Please also note that Midnight Society is in no way responsible for your actions. Please follow the law to its full extent, which does vary from each different municipality. Whether it be trespassing, breaking and entering or any other violation of the law, we do not condone it or hold any responsibilities. This website is merely a forum for people to post and share their stories, experiences, and photographs.all contents and pictures property of Midnight Society NJ otherwise where else noted (c)2001

We need one of these here in Austin!

Click here for more

The Educational System Was Designed to Keep Us Uneducated and Docile

It's no secret that the US educational system doesn't do a very good job. Like clockwork, studies show that America's schoolkids lag behind their peers in pretty much every industrialized nation. We hear shocking statistics about the percentage of high-school seniors who can't find the US on an unmarked map of the world or who don't know who Abraham Lincoln was.

Fingers are pointed at various aspects of the schooling system—overcrowded classrooms, lack of funding, teachers who can't pass competency exams in their fields, etc. But these are just secondary problems. Even if they were cleared up, schools would still suck. Why? Because they were designed to.

click here for the frightening expose

THE WORD MUST GO OUT!!!

Observe now,...delay not!

Zogg 

The Bionic Woman

I was sitting around today thinking about how in the seventies the cool, man-machine interface was BIONICS and in the eighties it was CYBERNETICS. I basically figure that the difference between the two is that Bionics try to look like man-flesh, you know, "Robots in Disguise", like in the transformers. While Cybernetics are overtly menacing, completely unapologetic, robot parts grafted miraculously onto a still living human body. Frickin' SWEET!
Now that got me thinking about the Six Million Dollar Man and of course, the Bionic Woman, Jamie Sommers. And of course I got to thinking, Steve Austin was a freakin' Astronaut!!! What was Jamie Sommers fuckin' job? N.A.S.A. receptionist? Air Force One FLight Attendant? Well my friend Matt helped me out with this brief synopsis from the "inter-web", as he put it.

"... As Frankenstein's monster needed a wife and James Bond needed Pussy Galore, Steve Austin, The Six Million Dollar Man, needed love interest. One of Lee Majors' significant contributions to the series was his suggestion that a red blooded bionic like himself should have a girlfriend. So, making a stand for equality, along came Jaime Sommers, Bionic Spice herself- The Bionic Woman.

Sommers appeared only fleetingly in The Six Million Dollar Man, and was subsequently bumped off. However, the popularity of the character was such that she was resuscitated and went on to feature in 58 episodes of her own series. It had continuity with The Six Million Dollar Man in that OSO chief Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson) was also her boss and Austin himself appeared several times throughout the show's run.

Sommers was introduced in The Six Million Dollar Man episodes The Bionic Woman and The Return Of The Bionic Woman. Somers was Austin's childhood sweetheart. A tennis professional with a teaching degree, after a tragic skydiving accident, Sommers, at Austin's prompting, received bionic replacements (bionic legs and a bionic arm, but instead of a new eye she is rebuilt with a bionic ear). She and Austin planned to marry, but Sommers' body rejected her new limbs and she died. There was a national outcry- how could a character that had so captured the imagination be allowed to die? In the world of TV fantasy her rehabilitation was easy- cryogenic procedures were used to cool her body and prevent cellular damage, which gave the doctors time to repair the brain clot that had ended her life. Sommers was rescued from death. However, the operation was not a complete success. She had suffered brain damage, and completely lost her memory. Emergency surgery restored many of her memories, but the feelings of love that she had felt for Austin appeared to have been lost forever.

And so, Sommers leads a double life. She is a teacher working at a Californian air base school. She also takes on special high-risk government missions, using her tremendous 'bionic' powers. Episodes were divided between her twin careers. Her capers involved her entering as a contestant in the Miss United States Pageant in order to uncover an espionage operation, going undercover as an airline stewardess to protect Dr. Rudy Wells (Martin E. Brooks- another member of the SMDM team) and his top-secret formula and masquerading as a lady wrestler..."

So there you have it. "Hot for Teacher" inspirational material gone mechanical. With Brain-Damage!!! The story was so bad it read like the character background of an RPG character. I now totally mock her every point of existence. Though I did like how the "Jump the Shark" website said:

"... cried when she jumped from the building and sparks came out out her knee caps. Wasn't there a crossover episode with the Bionic man and she slept with the Sasquatch? Their offspring was the bionic dog named Max...."

That was so funny I had to go fuck a Bigfoot on my lunch-break.

Anyway, VIVA LE CYBORGS!!! I can't wait to mechanate. Go-Go-Gadget PENIS!!!

--Eric

Brownie Fantasy Intero-Caveman

by Rev. Sternodox

There was this one guy that worked the night shift at this Superball
factory in Enid, Oklahoma who could pull the ureter out of his dick
and snap it loud enough that the reverberations would cause the
antenna towers of the local radio station to bend over at a forty
degree angle. But one night this girl he knew took a pair of scissors
that had been basking in the mutagenic radiation of a discount
Bangladeshi cyclotronic bamph-chamber for two weeks and when he
whipped it out, she cut his dick off before he could do the trick.
But it wasn't really a guy at all, it was this cooperative colony of
intelligent rectum cells that had evolved into an intelligence far
greater than the cumulative expertise of thousands of generations of
normal humans. So they (in the guise of that guy) transformed
themselves into a giant toad cock that was covered in festering,
linguini-shaped pustules and rammed itself up the girl's asshole
before she could run out the door. The dick-guy was so huge that the
girl's rectum tore into about eighty thousand hundred pieces but some
of the pieces bound with the guys dick garbage on a molecular level
and created giant mutant pussy animals that had fifty hundred
poisonous fangs on each of its twelve hundred dozen prehensile dicks.
Also the dicks had impenetrable armour on them that was the colour of
gecko vomit after the gecko had just ate two or three cans of Wolf
Brand chili with no beans. So the giant pussy creatures that had all
those dicks battled the guy/dick creature in a giant war and both of
them got so tired out that they agreed to call a truce and decided to
go to Wendy's for a baked potato with no chives or sour cream. But
when they got there they found out that they were out of baked
potatoes so they got back in a giant war except they started killing
all the people in the Wendy's by pulling their dicks and balls off
and before they bleed to death, they sewed the dicks and balls up in
their mouths real tight so they suffocated while they were bleeding
to death. But the army had this new giant nuclear machine cannon
Gatling submarine bomb that they dropped on the creatures but it just
turned them into forty hundred more new ones that took over the earth
and grabbed the president of Nairobi and tied him to a pole and each
took turns buttfucking him on television so that everybody would be
scared of them and not try to resist them. But this one club called
the Hog Masturbators Club whose members all liked to jack off while
jacking off a pig and drinking the pig cum in front of the local
constabulary who they kidnapped decided to try to resist and form a
movement against the creatures. So they put a ad in the newspaper
asking for volunteers but the creatures read it and captured the
whole club and spent a entire afternoon slowly skinning them alive,
ass first and then their dicks and balls and cunts because there was
two girls in the club but they didn't like to jack off a pig but they
thought it was a good club anyway. But one of the girls escaped and
found a secret giant machine from Atlantis that could blow the
creatures up. Then she pushed the button on it and all the creatures
blew up except ten of them but that was enough to capture the girl
and fuck her for about a year with these giant dicks that were made
out of red hot cheese graters that vibrated and stuck out with giant
metal spikes. Then the girl died and the ten creatures all got VD off
of her and they died too. Then these other aliens came to earth but
nobody was there left alive and they went back to their own planet
and never came back.
The End

This guy has deep subgenius issues - Eric

Wierd Science on the March

Monkeys Control Robotic Arm With Brain

Robot learns to walk like a toddler

Man has camera wired to brain
Click here, or Here, or Here, Here, and, or Here

VARYA the grossly pumped up little girl

FIRST LOOK AT THIS

VARYA the grossly pumped up little girl

Then feel the abject fear of what is being done to this little kid.

The Society for the Appreciation of Bitch Slappin' the Mimes

The Society for the Appreciation of Bitch Slappin' the Mimes

The Impious Digest hires only the best and strongest pimps to administer the bitch slappin' we give to mimes across the nation.

But it's not cheap. Ice packs (for bruised knuckles), travel expenses, bail money and legal fees are just part of the expenses incurred in our efforts to make every child smile. Our pimps charge an hourly wage, but a fair one.

Your donations help insure this worthy cause is not abandoned.

Please give 'til it hurts...them!

Any donations will be charged to the Impious Digest Mime Bitch Slappin' Referral Service. If no mimes are available, MTV video jockeys may be used instead. If neither is available, the money will be spent on any or all of the following: crack, whores, beer, and lotto tickets.

Click here to support this movement

"Women will get sterile just looking at you."

"Women will get sterile just looking at you." - Charles De Mar
Okay, I like Star Wars as much as the next person who was a child during the late 70's/early 80's, but there are some people who are just a little *too* into it. These people go to conventions. They dress up. Some better than others. I of course choose to share with you the latter group. These are all pictures from a Star Wars convention from a site my co-worker decided would be a good idea to share with me. Now, I share with you.

CLick Here For Horror

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!


When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.


We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.


Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?


Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

Suicide Bomber

A short car commercial that is in some wierd way, funny I'm told.

Click here for the video

MORTOR...

Watch the text change

clickenzie ein heren!

Darth Tater

No. I did not make this up.

click here for evil

GAIA LIBERATION FRONT

Statement of Purpose (A Modest Proposal)

The Gaia Liberation Front is a concept, not an organization. You become a member of the GLF by joining us in carrying out our mission, which is the total liberation of the Earth.

The first thing is to get our message out:

1. Our object is not merely the continuation of life on Earth--which is, for all we know, the only life in the universe--but the preservation of the planetary ecosystem (Gaia) with as much of its integrity and variety as can be saved.1

2. The Humans have been usefully compared to a cancer2 or a virus.3 But it seems to us that the must fruitful way of viewing the Humans is as an alien species (which is why we use the definite article and the capital H). The Humans evolved on the Earth, but have become alienated from it. They are conscious of their alienation, drawing a distinction between the Human and the natural, and proud of it.

Like the alien invading species of science fiction, the Humans possess a superior technology (superior, in this case, to any of the defenses that Gaia can throw up against them).


GAIA LIBERATION FRONT

PREPARE TO LOSE YOUR MIND

THE HASSELHOFFIAN RECURSION

Jack Parsons was one Hell of a guy

Jack Parsons was one Hell of a guy, and not just because he might have been the Antichrist.

John Whiteside Parsons was born in 1914, a child of wealth and privilege in unholy Los Angeles. His father took a hike while Parsons was a teen, and like so many other kids, young Jack successfully summoned Satan to assuage his loneliness. Hey, haven't we all been there?

The departure of his father also left Parsons with an Oedipal fixation on his mother, according to his biography Love and Rockets (the author adds that later in life, Parsons is rumored to have filmed himself working through his complex through the novel approach of actually having sex with Mom).

Parsons was a bit of a wunderkind in two key areas — the occult and rocket science. Parsons legitimate claim to fame was in the latter field. He was by all accounts a brilliant chemist, who made major breakthroughs in designing the chemical composition of liquid rocket fuels.

Parsons' fuel mixtures eventually helped America land on the moon (Ha! A likely story!) According to countercultural journalist Richard Metzger, Werner von Braun claimed that Parsons (a high-school dropout) was the true father of the American space program. Parsons helped create the famous Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena (the JPL, also affectionately called the "Jack Parsons Lab").

there's so much more!

Ultraman & Toho DVDs on sale now!

We are pleased to announce the grand opening of our Ultraman / Toho DVD movie site. We have a huge variety of Ultraman titles on DVD from the original 1960's Ultraman series to the Ultraman Tiga/Dyna/Gaia of the 1990s. Toho classics including Mothra, King Kong Vs. Godzilla DVD are also available and in stock for immediate purchase.

Visit the site at:

http://ULTRAMAN.BLOGSITE.OR

New Horriffic Technology

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/001302.html

The PAIN RAY -

http://www.de.afrl.af.mil/factsheets/activedenial.html

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/001102.html

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/000697.html

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/001219.html

SONIC WEAPON -

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/000807.html

http://www.atcsd.com/PressReleases/02_26_04.html

http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,FL_noise_030304,00.html?ESRC=eb.nl

STUN GUNS of the 21st century

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/000965.html

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2004-06/ns-swt061604.php

http://www.xtremeads.com/

http://www.defensereview.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=516

RAY GUNS

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/000946.html

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/000871.html

http://www.aviationnow.com/avnow/news/channel_aerospacedaily_story.jsp?id=news/dir04204.xml

http://www.zeus.sparta.com/

http://www.llnl.gov/str/October02/Dane.html

PAIN RAYS, LASER JETS, AND STUN GUN SHOCKERS

From pain beams to stun guns to laser jets, real-life ray guns seemed to blasting their way from the world of sci-fi into the realm of reality in 2004. There were setbacks, to be sure -- missed deadlines, bloated budgets, and a sense that supposedly "non-lethal" energy weapons might not be so safe, after all. But, by the end of the year, the dream of a blaster in hand seemed a whole lot nearer than it did in 2003.

LASER JET: GOOD NEWS
After decades of bloated promises, busted budgets, and missed deadlines, the troubled Airborne Laser project finally got a bit of good news yesterday.

The program's goal is to mount a high-energy, chemical laser onto a 747 jet, so it can shoot down incoming missiles. But whether such a laser would ever work remained very much an open question. On Thursday, some answers emerged, when Northrop engineers successfully tested the laser.

ANTI-LASER CONTACT LENSES
I think we all winced when we read, back in September, about the Delta pilot who was hit in the eye by a laser while flying a 737. Or about the 20 year-old Los Alamos intern who was zapped during a July experiment.

Air Force researchers must not have liked what they read, either. That's presumably why they're looking to develop a contact lens that can protect against laser blasts.

LASERS 1, MORTARS 0
Lasers have been getting pretty good at knocking down rockets, as we've seen in tests over the last few years. Now, the ray guns are starting to prove that they can zap one of the most common battlefield threats – mortars – as well.

ARMY FOCUSING ON "EASY" LASER WEAPONS
In the world of laser guns and death rays, there's hard to pull off. And then's really, really hard to do. The Army has decided to concentrate on developing some of the easier "directed energy" weapons. The idea is to prove to a skeptical military community that lasers can, in fact, be used to blow stuff up -- and not just on Babylon 5.

RAY GUN RESEARCH POWERS UP
The most powerful lasers today probably wouldn't work that well as weapons. They have the energy needed to zap oncoming missiles. But, powered by enormous vats of chemicals, they're really too cumbersome to work in the battlefield.

Solid state lasers don't have those logistical problems. Until recently, though, the energy they've generated has been pretty puny – just 10 kilowatts or so, instead of the 100 kilowatts that most think are needed to make a workable weapon. Now, Aviation Week reports, the Defense Department is on track to demonstrate three, solid state laser designs that can hit the 25 kw mark.

DEATHS DOG STUN GUN MAKER
For executives as Taser International, this should be the best day, ever. The company just signed a $1.8 million deal with the Pentagon – the largest in Taser's history. But the stun-gun maker can't shake allegations that their supposedly "non-lethal" weapons have killed more than a few of their targets.

CORONER: TASERS DIDN'T KILL
They're still not sure why 31 year-old Frederick Jerome Williams died in police custody. But it wasn't the five shocks to the chest from a Taser stun gun, the Gwinnett, Georgia County medical examiner's office has concluded.

TASERS IN THE SKIES
Firing bullets in an enclosed space is rarely a good idea. So I guess it was only a matter of time before someone decided to arm airline security guards with tasers instead.

NEXT-GEN STUN GUNS TARGET CROWDS
The problem with today's stun guns is that you can unload a can of electrical whoop-ass only on one person at a time. But that may be starting to change.

SONIC WEAPON IN IRAQ
U.S. soldiers in Iraq have new gear for dispersing hostile crowds and warding off potential enemy combatants. It blasts earsplitting noise in a directed beam. "

"E-BOMB," FOR REAL?
On the eve of the Iraq invasion, it was being hailed as America's next "wonder weapon." The "e-bomb" -- a munition using high-powered microwaves to fry circuits and computers -- was about to be dropped on Baghdad, we were told. Now, Aviation Week reports, there are a pair of efforts underway at the Pentagon to use high-powered microwaves -- the core of the e-bomb -- for real.

BRING THE PAIN
When U.S. soldiers are faced with a hostile crowd, they only have, broadly speaking, two options for breaking it up: the bullhorn or the machine gun. Words or bullets. Deadly force, or no force at all. What's need instead is a weapon that falls somewhere in between. That shoots to hurt, not to kill. That drives away looters, without driving up casualty counts. A microwave-like pain ray, let's say.

SOUPED-UP ARMORED CARS PREPPED FOR IRAQ
Soldiers in Iraq might soon get armored vehicles equipped with pain rays, sonic weapons, or guns that automically return fire – if a Pentagon project works out as planned.

PAIN RAY GOING AIRBORNE
It was only a matter of time, I guess. First, the Air Force builds a real-life, microwave-like pain ray. Then, it gets a company to strap that real-life, microwave-like pain ray to the back of a jet.

NO SCI-FI TECH FOR "FUTURE COMBAT"
Back in 1999, when the Army launched Future Combat Systems, its $117 billion modernization program, "discussions were dominated by visions of an all-electric, laser-firing fleet of fast-moving tank-like vehicles unburdened by the weight of conventional armor," notes National Defense. "Five years later, reality has set in."

click here for links to all this

HOW CAN YOU LIVE ON WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?

Many years ago, inScotland a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into
the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred
and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has
all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the
last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name
requested?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
Father's Day

fIn Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was lunar based, this period was called the honey month .. which we know
today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they
used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase
inspired
by this practice.

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow

DEATH RAYS!!!

In the summer of 1913, Signor Giulio Ulivi, blew up a gas meter with his "F-Ray" device and destroyed his laboratory. Then, in August of that year, exploded three mines in the port of Trouville for a number of high ranking French naval officers. The following November, he travelled to Splezzia, Italy to repeat the experiments on several old ships and torpedo boats for that country's navy

On May 25th, a second death ray was announced in England. Doctor T.F. Wall, a "lecturer in electrical research in Sheffield University, "applied for a patent for means of transmitting electrical energy in any direction without the use of wires. According to one report. even though he has not made tests on a large scale yet "Dr. Wall expressed the belief that his invention would be capable of destroying life, stopping airplanes in flight and bringing motor cars to a standstill." On a more positive note, he added that his invention would have beneficial applications in surgical and medical operations

Berlin - That the German Government has an invention of death rays that will bring down airplanes, halt tanks on the battlefields, ruin automobile motors, and spread a curtain of death like the gas clouds of the recent war was the information given to Reichstag members by Herr Wulle, chief of the militarists in that body. It is learned that three inventions have been perfected in Germany for the same purpose and have been patented.

Sensing something of importance the New York Times copyrighted its story of May 28th on a ray weapon developed by the Soviets. The story opened: "News has leaked out from the Communist circles in Moscow that behind Trotsky's recent war-like utterance lies an electromagnetic invention, by a Russian engineer named Grammachikoff for destroying airplanes."(9) Tests of the destructive ray, the Times continued, had began the previous August with the aid of German technical experts. A large scale demonstration at Podosinsky Aerodome near Moscow was so successful that the revolutionary Military Council and the Political Bureau decided to fund enough electronic anti-aircraft stations to protect sensitive areas of Russia. Similar, but more powerful, stations were to be constructed to disable the electrical mechanisms of warships. The Commander of the Soviet Air Services, Rosenholtz, was so overwhelmed by the ray weapon demonstration that he proposed "to curtail the activity of the air fleet, because the invention rendered a large air fleet unnecessary for the purpose of defense."

An English engineer, J.H. Hamil, offered the American army plans for producing " an invisible ray capable of stopping airplanes and automobiles in midflight," invented by a German scientist. The ray device was said to have been used the previous summer to bring down French planes over Bavaria. Hamil noted, however, that "the fundamental work was done by Nikola Tesla in Colorado Springs about 30 years ago. He built a powerful electrical coil. It was found that the dynamos and other electrical apparatus of a Colorado fuel company within a 100 yards or so were all put out of business.(10) Hamil believed the Tesla coil scattered rays which short- circuited electrical machinery at close range. Laboratories all over the world, he added, were testing methods of stepping up the Tesla coil to produce its effects at greater distances. "Working on an entirely different principle," Hamil said, "the German scientist has succeeded in projecting and directing electrical power."

Ether - a null result, or an anulled result

Anyone who has studied the history of science is familiar with the seminal tale from the heroic age of physics of the Michelson-Morley experiment to establish whether or not light travels through a mysterious medium that fills space -- the ether.  Every high school physics student has taken down the same notes for more than a century.

1880, US physicist Albert Michelson invents the Michelson light interferometer -- an instrument that can measure the velocity of a beam of light with great accuracy by splitting it through a half-silvered mirror and then re-combining the beams.  If the recombined beams interfere with reach other, causing visible fringes on a screen, then one of them must have been delayed.

1887, Michelson and fellow American scientist Edward Morley build an interferometer with greater accuracy than ever before and use their instrument in a crucial experiment to determine whether light travels through the ether, or merely through the vacuum of empty space. The two physicists set up their instrument to measure the speed of a beam of light travelling in the same direction as the earth through space, and also a beam that travels at right angles to the earth’s direction of travel. If the ether exists there should be a minute – but measurable – drag effect on a beam of light that will delay it and show up as ‘interference fringes’ in the interferometer.  The experiment shows a 'null result' -- no matter how the interferometer is orientated with respect to the earth's movement, there is no measurable ether drag.


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