Thursday, April 29, 2004

Some new phrases for you to use in you daily life

The NeoScience Institute

Not exactly the most well designed site, visually speaking. But Funny concept and text makes up for that a good bit. And check out thier motto:

"Making your life harder in the name of science."

Now that's a philosophy I can sink my teeth into. Or maybe my nads. Dammit god! Why did you have to introduce me to the concept of "Teabagging". My awareness of deviant sexual practices, learned on the internet ,has damaged me permanently. Anyhow, check out:

Derf City

This guy makes pretty funny political cartoons. If you dig 'this modern world' and "Hate" you should groove on this.

The Fabulous Bud E. Luv

Yeah it's kinda cheesy but it's pretty funny too. Go scope this out. I'm sure it will appeal to some of you just like it did me. Dig into the site a bit for the sweet, sweet juice of it's comedy.

Stare Down Sally

I shouldn't be posting this but the site design was so decent that I thought I would pass it around. The object of this game is to outlast a random...Oh, just go see it, Goddammit!

Happy Birthday Chris!

I want to give a big shout out to my man Chris Archer who just had his birthday yesterday. I totally wasn't there becasue I went to one of my weekly games and turned my phone off. Which makes me a big fat bee-itch! I know I owe you one now, my brotha! I'm thinkin' of you!


My friend has a duplex for rent in Round Rock

She said:
"Hey wild man! Can you do me a favour and put the word out that there is a
very well kept 2 bedroom duplex in Round Rock for rent. Price $750 a month,
lease can go month to month if needed. It's currently my place, and my friend
Linda owns the duplex and is an excellent land lady. If you could let fairly
reliable people know, I'd deeply appreciate it and be eternally least for a week or two =D"

I said:
"Sure thing! I'll post it right away!"

And there you have it! Any interested parties post a comment and I will email you her contact info right away!

Advice from Schnazzy Guy

This site is funny for me both for what it says and for the fact that the "Schnazzy Guy" vaguely resembles a friend of mine named Chris who convinced me to make this blog. Have some comedy! Right Here:

Night of the Slurring Mampies

Great googlie-mooglie! This site was so funny I almost had to go kill some fat, white women as a result. Look at the tale of terror of this Jamaican man in the clutches of hideous, Canadian, fat-back "mampies". I never heard the term before but it makes me want to shoot milk out of my nose cuz im laffing so hard! Revel in the awesome comedy that is:


Wow! Check out this paper by this doctor who claims Milk is not good for you. He makes sure to explain why in detail so you can understand it fully. This reminds me of some stuff Ezra was telling me. It also seems like something I should share with my soon-to-have-babies friends like Jene as well. Dig this, people:

Then dig the informative site of Not Milk? at:

The Chairman Smiles

Posters from the former Soviet Union, Cuba and China
The former Soviet Union, Cuba, and China: three countries where posters played an important political role and received a large amount of artistic attention. This is a selection of 145 political posters, famous masterpieces as well as equally beautiful but unknown examples drawn from the collection of the International Institute of Social History in Amsterdam.

The Standardized 'Should I Stalk William Shatner' Test

Are you ready to quit your job, abandon all personal ties and live as a drifter on the outskirts of the Shatner ranch? Maybe. But the hard truth is you probably aren’t prepared or devoted enough to reap the avalanche of media attention a man who really, really, really liked William Shatner a lot would almost certainly get.
Before you buy a sleeping bag, night vision goggles and bus tickets to a year’s worth of Mr. Shatner's speaking engagements, take this simple quiz. It could save you a lot of time, humiliation and listening to George Takei ramble pointlessly about getting his own show while waiting for William Shatner to come on.


Monkey Heaven is a tribute to the cult classic live action Japanese TV series Monkey (sometimes known as Monkey Magic), made by NTV in the late 1970s, and starring Masaaki Sakai, Toshiyuki Nishida, Shiro Kishibe, Masako Natsume, Tonpei Hidari, Shunji Fujimura, Mieko Takamine.

It's based on one of the great quest stories, a 16th century Chinese epic called Hsi Yu Chi (= Journey to the West). The title Monkey is probably from Arthur Waley's English translation. The tales, set in 630 AD, describe the demons and monsters who try to stop the Tang Priest Hsüan Tsang (Tripitaka) from reaching a Buddhist monastery in India to retrieve Buddhist scriptures. The whole series recounts the exploits of the resourceful, brave, and humorous Monkey, the real hero of the fantasy, as he escorts Tripitaka, the pig monster Pigsy, and the water monster Sandy, on their perilous mission.

Hsüan Tsang (Tripitaka) actually lived and really did go to India in 629 A.D. to get Buddhist scriptures.

The Bureau of Atomic Tourism

The Bureau of Atomic Tourism is dedicated to the promotion of tourist locations around the world that have either been the site of atomic explosions, display exhibits on the development of atomic devices, or contain vehicles that were designed to deliver atomic weapons.

This is also a long time favorite website of mine that provides lasting amusement. Check out the freaky mis-use of English perpetrated by Japanese folks in advertising, packaging and all facets of Japanese life.

Mind Uploading Home Page

The Mind Uploading home page is dedicated to the putative future process of copying one's mind from the natural substrate of the brain into an artificial one, manufactured by humans. This technology will radically alter society in many ways, as science fiction authors have begun to illustrate. Through this server, explore the science behind the science fiction!

Switchback Fair

Wow! Switchback Fair is a website with a difference.

It will scour the net for the finest online wisdom and dispense it in easily digestible chunks, gift-wrapped in a leather case.

It will let you shop twenty-four hours a day.

It will make you millions when it is floated on the stock market.

It will do your accounts. It will forecast the weather. It will raise your IQ.
It will make you coffee, mow the lawn and take the dog for a walk.

It will tell witty anecdotes at social functions.
It will share your interest in cult children's television.
It will soothe your sore throat while it calculates
the best route to Hemel Hempstead.

It will find your car keys.

Switchback Fair will sort out your love life.

It will teach you Spanish.

It will go in goal.

It will hold your hand during the scary bits. It will glare at your neighbours in a threatening manner until they promise to do something about that hedge. It'll break you out of jail and offer you sanctuary in its villa in Acapulco.

It will smite your enemies with fire and brimstone.

It will provide 17% of an adult's daily dose of Vitamin B12.

It's the philosophers' stone and the elixir of life. It's available in a range of colours and upholsteries. It will satisfy your every need, real or imagined.

Switchback Fair is your friend.

David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist

This site explains how and why David Hasselhof IS the Anti-Christ of biblical Revelation. As if you didn't allready know.

Mr. T vs. Everything

For those of you unfamiliar with the Mr. T versus phenomenon. This is where you can go to get hip. It's short illustrated stories of Mr. T meeting and beating the shit out of various people and things. i enjoy some of them. I imagine you will too. Often the dialoge is the true gem.

Rectal Foreign Bodies

This page rocks. It's a page of reports collated in "Surgery" magazine of things that had to be removed from peoples butts. I kid you not! you'll be digusted and surprised. There are no pictures, just reports. Safe for work, but is it safe for your mind?!?!?!

The Surrealist Compliment Generator

Now I'm the sort of person who can enjoy this sort of bizarrety. And i think some of you are too. Next time i'm making an anniversary letter or a love note to a secretary in the next cubicle row, I'm gonna borrow heavily from this site. the joy is in reloading the page again and again and again. Enjoy!

Theories on Grimace

WHAT IS GRIMACE? It's a question that arises time and time again, usually at parties, or at a diner at 4am after a long night clubbing. Anyone with a television who grew up in the 70's and 80's was bombarded with McDonald's commercials, sandwiched in between all the kids' shows. This site explores that enigma in detail.

The Alphabet Synthesis Machine

This is cool cool COOL! This project is among the neatest, sciencey things i have seen on the internet. What it is is a little program that allows you to input a design you make by hand and the program with construct a font out of it and present you with a download of it you can just install on your computer then and there! It really really rocks! Check it out, I/m sure you'll be impressed.

Chinese Pop Posters form the Era of Big Communism

This is a neat gallery of Chinese posters from the era of communist propaganda. The great part is that the poster come with an explanation of who the people in the posters are and sometimes a little extra info. These are as neat as the Russian propaganda posters of the Cold War era for sure. Check it out:

The evils of tea (and the virtues of beer)

If you have ever wondered about which is better: tea or beer, this piece should put your mind at rest. It is extracted from William Cobbett's Cottage Econony, published in 1822. His reasoning is hard to challenge. Apart from the selection of specific sections, the text is otherwise unaltered. In 1822, it would seem, the short paragraph had not yet been invented.

No Doughboy, NO!

Oh My Goodness! This might sear your eyes out with evil comedy. If you click on this link, you will see the pillsbury doughboy crap out a steamy croissant right in front of god and everybody. This is both horriffic and EXTREMELY comical. Enjoy.

Creative Footbal Cookie

This is a neat site. I recommend it. It is charmingly designed and interesting without being crude, or sardonic or malcontented to the extent most of my suggested sites are. I think you will enjoy Creative Footbal Cookie.

DaDa Server, Haiku-O-Matic & Guess the Dictator/Sit-Com Character

These charming little time-passers might amuse you and provide you with something safe to send your grandmother or inscrutable boss. Actually, some of them are pretty cool.

Mike's World Wide Web of Barfbags

Goddammit I dont know WHY i'm posting this! But here it is:

The Onion and The Taunt

I would be VERY surprised to learn that one of my visitors wasn't allready completely familiar with The Onion. But many of you may not have heard of the Onion-like source of comedy that is The Taunt. So check it out and garner even more yuks for your work-day.

How to Raise the Dead

Oh my god people! This is the CRAZIEST Christian insanity i have yet seen on the internet. Let me give you a sample:

In this treatise, you will find practical principles on how to raise the dead! These same principles will work on how to heal the sick, how to cast out demons, and how to cleanse the lepers. These are the four things that Jesus specifically sent His disciples out to do:"

And he's completely serious! Check out this bizarre testimony to how sectarian cult faith can go very VERY weird. It's a trip!

Bert Is Evil

Another Web Legend that some of you may not have seen yet. This site explains it all concerning exactly how and why Bert of Sesame Street is a corrupt and Evil bastard. Complete with documentary photos and in-depth journalism. See the glorious horror that is

This gave Jene and Liz such laffs when I first sent it to them. I figured I'd post it up here for everyone to..."enjoy"?


Oh the Deathclock...Another link I first sent out like 5 or 6 years ago. I have a warm spot in my heart for the DeathClock. And you will too. It's just waiting to count down the instants untill YOUR death. See and enjoy. Very goth-a-liscious.

Ask Satan

Now you can ASK SATAN all of those pressing questions in your life. PLus there's great pictures of the Dark Lord himself and other comedy as well. Go on, you KNOW you wanna ASK SATAN!

The AFU and Urben Legends Archive

Urban Legends fascinate me. And since I've heard some of my friends spouting them in conversation, as we all do, i have decided to post this happy debunking link here to infrom and educate.

The Strange Facts Page

It's poorly designed, but it's full of quaint little crap you might be entertained to know. I was amused more than once by the info here.


Okay now here is a storehouse of Web entertainment links such as I cannot ,with my current level of web developement skills, hope to match. This page has a HUGE mix of both funny and stupid links that I GAY-RON-TEE will occupy you for hours. And it doesn't do porn! Good for whiling away the hours at work.

The Seanbaby Superfriends Page

Comedy Is Here! Right here. I mean jam packed with a pile-driver into this webpage. The Seanbaby Superfriends page is allready Legend on the Internet. But I fear that some of you may not have allready enjoyed it's wonders. For EXTREME comedy, go see The Seanbaby Superfriends Page now.

I have been sending this website out for about 5 years now to folks. The reviews of the crappy candy they've eaten are so funny you'll sometimes pee your pants. Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Titles should be more prevalent in our society

For example, to get someone's business card and have it say " Mike Johnson - Enemy of the Truth" would be a great way to understand the depth of conviction of a Defense Lawyer to his proffession. Likewise, "Tanqueray Shenandoah - Filthy Whore" would be a great calling card for an escort or stripper. I advocate the addition of truly fitting titles to all business cards in our culture. I'm considering adding " - The Ignorantly Opinionated" to my card very soon. Or perhaps, "Rev. Dr. E. Z. Willman - irreverent, lazy, hedonist" might paint an accurate picture for a new acquaintance. I'm not sure but I think this 'truth in advertising' might improve the state of our nation. I mean, Would you vote for a politicion who's card read "Boss Hogg - Lying Slave to Corporate Interests"? No? Then our nation wouldn't be in the present pickle it's in right now! See, it IS a good idea. Comment below with what your business card would say:

Using Deconstruction to Astonish Friends & Confound Enemies

These argument / debate tactics work well against the vehement and uneducated. Such as ALL of my friends. Learn them, practice them, and use them to REALLY piss off everyone I know.

People That I Would Like To Punch:

Presidents of the United States of America, Nuns, Clowns, Congress and the Senate, 'Normal People', annoying freaks who are too wierd to be accepted by common freaks, Scientologists, Black Cops, Brittney Spears, Sade, Seal, ABBA, Crack Dealers, Athletes, Ultimate Fighting Champions, Cher, Barbara Streisand, Meryl Streep, Liza Minelli, Sharon Stone, Bette Midler, A.L.F; White martial arts "masters", gangsters who can't successfully shoot a target from a car only going 15 miles per hour, City Council Members, C.E.O.s, Martha Stewart, Kelsey Gramer, The cast of "Cats", White Supremecists, Black Militants, MTV VeeJays, Network Programming Executives, Carrot-Top, Paulie Shore, Howie Mandel, Gallager, GEORGE LUCAS - that dirty rat bastard, people who know all about: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Deep Space 9 - Babylon 5-Star Gate SG-1 - Dark Angel - SmallVille - Lois and Clark - any show on the Sci-Fi Channel - and Star Trek; Eminem, Jay Leno, the list goes on and on...

To All Of These People:

Please comment with lists of people you would like to punch below

Man survives without food or water

Under the scrutiny of physicians no less. A 'miracle' is under study right here in our own day and age. Apparently this guy is considered legit for the time being. Wierd Stuff! Reminds me of certain parts of the book " Autobiography of a Yogi"

The Fibonnacci Series

Scott introduced me to this. It's a pretty neat thing. This site is a very short animated primer of the concept that just may spur you on to further research. Dig it:

Man this is Creepy!

This guy claims to have found a haunted painting. It's creepy enought to be. You guys need to see this! It's WEIRD!

More things you can have companies do with your remains

See yesterday's posts for the first two things you can pay folks to do with your dead body. ( synthetic diamonds and mummification ) then check out how some company will make your ashes into sculpture of paintings. Now THIS just smacks of the unquiet spirits of the dead haunting an object.

An antigravity project you can try at home

The Lifter Project. This looks pretty neat. If you are impressed with lifting some tinfoil and popsicle sticks via the force of electricty alone. Which to a small degree I am. I have to say I wont be really impressed until they lift a metal aircraft with armaments and propulsion and guidance system and a crew of four. But as an initial offering, this does suggest some cool things are on the future horizons.

Visions of Atomic Robot Holocaust

This is a VERY nicely designed site for a sculptor and artist. His retrofuturistic visions are a joy to behold. And the swankiness of the site is worth looking at even without the kick ass material on it. Check out Brotronics Labs at:

Kurt Wenner - Master Street Artist

For your pleasure and entertainment, I submit:

Geof Darrow

Geof Darrow is the best comic artist I have ever seen and possibly the best comic artist alive today. Anyone who opposes me in this belief is an infidel who I will have to kill in the name of the faith. He is everything in a comic artist that I want to be. I can criticize no detail of his work. BOW DOWN before the awesome skill of the mighty Geof Darrow. I recommend "The Art of 'The Matrix'" and Dark Horse Comic's "Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot" as proof of what I claim.

Strangely, the web offers NO good galleries of his work that I could find. Oh, there's namby-pamby little 'please don't sue me' wuss-pages showing a few low-res images of his work. But you have to actually get down 'hi-res style' to see the AMAZING SUPERIORITY of his work in all of it's UNIVERSAL TRUTH. So go check out a book and see what I'm talking about.

A New Tactic

Perhaps im just ignorant of the full facts or don't fully understand battlefield logistics, but why dont we just pour millions of dollars into researching a gas that will knock enemy combatants unconscious for several hours without killing them? Our troops could just sweep throught the battlefield and disarm them once they were sleeping. Once enemy troops have no weapons, what are they gonna do? Throw rocks? No problem! Gun down those troublemakers without mercy and the others will quickly shut the fuck up, I would think. It's a humanitarian trade off of a few lives for many. If you have five thousend enemy troops on a particular battlefield and you win by taking all thier weapons and killing only those hundred or so crazy enought to fight you with their bare hands, then you are decidedly the hero of that particular conflict, hands-down.

What is the problem with a war for pacification as opposed to a war for destruction? If you want to win the hearts and minds of a population, try NOT killing their fathers, sons and brothers in blitzkreig airstrikes and instead sending them home to their wives, girlfrinds and mothers. It would seem pretty obvious who the 'good-guy' in that scenario is.

Sooner or later you will disarm the entire country and then the negotiations are pretty one sided I would think. I mean, make your demands and well, there you have it. They don't have much of a choice since they CAN'T fight you. This surely would severely curtail war-crimes, massacres, and other unsightly blemishes on the honor of our combat troops. And hey! They can even rob the enemy soldiers blind while they're disarming them! Woohoo! Now that's soldierey!

Perhaps I'm missing some facet of the situation here. Any comments on what's wrong with my scheme? Comment below.

Murnau Foundation Metropolis

Never since the original prints of the film has there been such a complete and visually lustrous version of "Metropolis" available. Certainly not in my lifetime or that of my parents. Now it has painstakingly been re-assembled and carefully crafted to as true a facsimile of it's original state as modern technology can possibly make it. And the work is EXCELLENT. I mean it will make you gasp with wonder and appreciation. I watched this on a friend's large-screen TV with surround sound and it gave me a hollow feeling in my chest. It's THAT good!
Not only that but the documentary on the film and it's restoration is so interesting that it's almost as worth watching as the film itself. I can't recommend it enough. Here's a link to Amazon's page for it, should you wisely shoose just to buy it outright.

Things To Come

There is an excellent film by famed director Fritz Lang (Metropolis), form the novel "The Shape of Things to Come" written by H.G. Wells (click here for his script treatment) that I highly recommend you all see. It is a story about technology, barbarism and hope. An excellent story, made well into a movie that I think is still relevant and poignant today despite it's having been crafted in the 1930s. If you are looking for something good to watch on a rainy Thursday night, go down to your local video rental shop and get a copy of Things To Come (1936, 100 min.). I Sincerely think you'll be glad you did.

Jack Chick 'Tracts'

If you used to be a drunken, malcontent, drug-using, club-hopper like me then at some point a christian came up to you and handed you one of these. These little mini-comics about God were so kitsch-funny that I usaually held onto them to show my other drunken aquaintances at the club. I remember crouching against the wall on the side of this club we all used to go to with two lads with the unlikely names of 'Dragon' and 'Oboe' ( these are the least crazy names folks had back then! Two other famous downtown characters were named 'Spit' and 'Scuz' I shit you not! ) and laughing our LSD-addled asses off to the pictures and text of these ludicrous little pamhplets. Now you can scope 'em out online and share in the knowledge of Christ-driven tomfoolery. Enjoy!

Viva El Santo!

Check out this badass and charmingly designed lil' gallery of badass mexican wrestler images from the golden age of mexican wrestler hero movies. After pressing the next button till it rolls over, be sure to click on home to see the other famous Luchadore galleries this guy has set up. It rocks and rules like Iggy Pop

Count Dante and the Black Dragon Fighting Society

Okay, when I was a kid, adverts for this gooberhead were on the back of the Micronauts™ and Shogun Warrior™ comics I used to buy. This Uber-dork claimed to be the deadliest man alive as well as other mindlessly preposterous claims. His website is pretty funny when you read the text. As a former martial artist I got big yuks out of the wild claims and shameless bragging. I think you will too:

Now, once you've seen that, you have to go see the site of this band that is based on the mockery and fun of the original phenomenon. It's juicy-liscious!

This BLOG was almost also called:

Uncle Owen's Subterranean Pleasure Den

$240 Worth of Pudding

House of Hot-Oil Hand-jobs

I Will Punch You So

Meatwad's Freestyle Rap Clearing-House

Bruce Boxlightner and the Temple of Feh!

GLOM - Warrior Of The Future

Man, I Hate Work!


Don't Call Me A "Rice-Burner"

Clown Sex Seven

George Lucas Must Die - The Movie

Sweepstakes of Suck

The Web Is Stupid:

Hairy-Backed Ham-Fisted Happiness

Tor Johnson Mouth-Whores



Tuesday, April 27, 2004


Was going to be the "real" name of this blog. But some frivolous, butt-monkey had allready taken it. That makes me a sad, sexual-harrassment panda

However, life goes on. Enjoy the 'swillarity' of my weblog, You magnificent sons-a-bitches! I'll call you Spartcus!

~Rev. Dr. Eric Z. Willman

Micronations, microstates, imaginary countries, countercountries, unrecognized nations, or ephemeral states, are all terms for countries which have been declared independent by (usually eccentric) individuals or small groups, but unlike other such attempts, fail to achieve widespread diplomatic recognition. Many have only one inhabitant; others are larger. Most seem to consist of a single Grand Poobah, with or without a coterie of petits Poobahs. Talossa, however, counts over 50 citizens who have been part of its wild multiparty political structure. And there are reportedly 20,000 people with Hutt River citizenship or honours--more than several members of the UN!

In most cases, Micronation founders have declared dominion over land that actually exists; often tiny, isolated islands, sometimes under several feet of water. Like other countries, some of these nations have proclaimed declarations of independence, adopted constitutions, sought diplomatic recognition, sent out envoys extraordinary and ministers plenipotentiary, displayed coats-of-arms, and issued stamps, passports, and currency.

Find out more:
The Principality of Sealand - a true story!

The history of Sealand is a story of a struggle for liberty. Sealand was founded on the principle that any group of people dissatisfied with the oppressive laws and restrictions of existing nation states may declare independence in any place not claimed to be under the jurisdiction of another sovereign entity. The location chosen was Roughs Tower, an island fortress created in World War II by Britain and subsequently abandoned to the jurisdiction of the High Seas. The independence of Sealand was upheld in a 1968 British court decision where the judge held that Roughs Tower stood in international waters and did not fall under the legal jurisdiction of the United Kingdom.

So it seems as though, Love It or Leave It is an option sometimes! -Eric
WTF is wrong with Hybrid car manufacturers?
I want to indulge in a little rant about Hybrid gas/electric cars. One of the main, obvious problems with hybrids is that they look like this:
and this:

These cars look like feeble ass. I wouldn't want to be seen driving one of these weak, dork-mobiles. How is a 45 year old man supposed to pick up 20 year old chicks in a ride that looks like this!? I'm only in my early 30s and they'd still have to pay me money to make me take one of these lumps off their lot.
In America, automotive image is vitally important. As the movie "The Fast and the Furious" pointed out so very visually. If you want to roll Hybrids off the lot as fast as you can make background credit checks then all you need to do is make them look like this:

Now I have used the Lotus specifically because it shares the necessity of ultra-light body design with the hybrid. Ultra-light body design is crucial because the hybrid motors aren't as powerful as the common engine and they need to drop as much weight as possible in the vehicle's design. This answer seems painfully obvious. Why are Hybrid manufacturers making such ugly freakin' cars!??!
Solar energy collecting satellites could beam pollution free, 'infinitely renewable' energy to the world

These "powersats" would catch the flood of energy flowing from the Sun and then pump it to Earth via laser or microwave beam. On earth it would be converted to electricity and fed into power grids to be tapped by terrestrial customers.

The thought of beaming energy to Earth via satellite was first brought to light in the late 1960s by Peter Glaser, a technologist at Arthur D. Little in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Into the 1970s and 1980s, the challenges of Space Solar Power (SSP) were reviewed numerous times. NASA, the Department of Energy, other government, industry and private groups have given the concept the once-over.
Space Based Lasers ( SBL ) are NOT a scrapped weapon idea!
In fact the research continues at full steam! They'll be able to kill you from orbit yet.

The Senate Armed Services Committee ended its FY2001 authorizations by boosting spending on military space programs and technologies by $98.2 million, chairman Sen. John Warner's office announced.

Here's a site on the testing of the technology:
Star Wars-style laser weaponry is coming to the battlefield.

Last year the U.S. and Israeli armies field-tested a chemical laser made by TRW that successfully knocked out 100 mm rockets and artillery shells.

There's a CNN report on this too with a picture of the device. Check it out at:

And here's a SUPER SWEET site with lots of pictures and stuff! Read all about it!:

And here's another science magazine article about the laser:

It's worth mentioning here that artillery shells are MUCH harder to target and shoot than rockets or missiles. Artillery shells are sometimes travelling at 2 times the speed of sound or more and are sometimes as small as a brick. This is some scarily impressive shooting here people. No human could EVER perform this feat. This also gives you an idea of just what it would be like to really fight a robot army. Can they make a headshot with every bullet they fire? Why YES, thay can! Humanity will not win against the machine army, should it ever come to that. ~Eric

I read a book recently that featured antimatter as part of it's plot and claimed that antimatter was proven, real and existed on Earth in quantities visible to the naked eye. I was dubious of course but it turns out that it's all true. The matter that ultimately annihilates ALL other matter is on our world and in the hands of fallible humans. Yay! We're all gonna die. Find out everyhting you could want to know, straight from the inventor's mouth at C.E.R.N.'s website. Here it is:
Man builds homemade 'anti-bear' armor
and plans to fight kodiac bear with it

The great thing here is the armor. You gotta see the picture of this guy in his armor. It hella-rocks. I say: "You GO, boy!"

You can get a video about it at Amazon

Now see the updated armor and revel in the fact that he is selling it on EBAY!!!! Aw yeah!! I fucking LOVE the PLANET!!!
Army Scientists, Engineers develop Liquid Body Armor

Well, not really a fluid you dump on yourself and are bulletproof, but definitely a really interesting new type of armor. this article is very informative. Check out the future of armor,13319,usa3_042104.00.html
Starship Troopers 'powered-armor' will become a reality ( The book, not the lame-O movie )

The Department of Defense's primary research and development organization -- the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency -- is soliciting proposals for a $50 million project to develop an "exoskeleton" for battlefield soldiers.

DARPA expects the first trials by 2005, according to its site.,1284,41216,00.html
New Gun Fires 'Laser of Lead'

In perhaps the most audacious upgrade of high-speed weaponry since the introduction of the Gatling Gun, Australian inventor Mike O'Dwyer has developed a machine gun that can fire bullets at a rate of 1 million rounds per minute.,2100,46570,00.html
Real life catches up with Star Trek
HSV Technologies Inc., of San Diego, California is developing a non-lethal weapon that uses ultraviolet laser beams to harmlessly immobilize people and animals at a distance. The Phaser-like device uses two beams of UV radiation to ionize paths in the air along which electrical current is conducted to and from the target. In effect, the beams create wires through the atmosphere wherever they are pointed.

There are several articles about htis device on the internet but this is the actual manufacturer's site.
You can Get Mummified right here in America!
If I hadn't fallen in love with the whole LigeGem™ thing, this tomfoolery would've been the plan for me. Except for the fact that it comes with a Pharoh's price tag. But they'll mummify the crap out of you from the sound of it. If you wanna go in style then THIS is the plan for you.
Get your remains pressed into a diamond -

Oh man, this is sweet. I am honestly considering having this done to my remains. ESPECIALLY if my freaky 'soul-gem' can then be affixed into a ring. How D&D is THAT!!?? I promise my descendeants to do my very best to haunt that gem and do freaky ghost things for the possessor of it. WooOOOoooOOO! Heh heh.

Monday, April 26, 2004

America's laser of death cleared for take-off

AMERICA'S enemies will soon face a weapon, once confined to the Star Wars films, that can bring death at the speed of light.
Gonads and Strife
You know, this site is an american phenomena, like the dancing baby, or the hamster dance. Every person shopuld know the glory of "Gonads and Strife" if you've allready recieved this from me, I apologize for doubling up on you like this. But I feel it's a personal duty to make sure that things like this get disseminated as widely as possible. Thank you and god bless.
Real Ultimate Power -- Ninjariffic
Go here and read this now!!! Go to all the pages read all the stuff! In fact, buy the t-shirts and stuff too! This site is funnier than Mr. T forcibly giving enemas to the entire cast of The Golden Girls while roaring out the lyrics to Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd on Christmas Eve!!!!!!!
Mr. Wiggles
do not neglect to see the untold and unbelievable glory that is:
The Kooky Fun of Jordan Maxwell
Jordan Maxwell (see is a jolly sort of fellow who uses simple, folksy arguments to reach startling conclusions. He informed us that we Americans are still living under a system of government and religion that is "Druidic" in origin, and we are still being ruled by England. All of our law is based on maritime admiralty law. Because you were born from the water breaking in your mother's womb, under maritime admiralty law this makes you a maritime "product." We think we are American citizens, but in reality all of us "belong" (literally) to the United States, which is a foreign-owned corporation set up in 1868. When your mother signed your birth certificate, this gave ownership of you to the U.S. corporation. Our birth certificates are traded on the stock exchange, where they serve as collateral for the U.S. corporation's loans from international bankers. (It's odd, I have looked at many stock quotes over the years, but have yet to see my birth certificate listed.) Originally sold for $630,000, our birth certificates are now worth more than $1 million each. If you look at your name as it appears on official documents, you will find that it is always in capital letters, just like the letters on a tombstone. This indicates that you are dead, under the law: you belong to them.
There is a way to remedy this, of course, and "repatriate" yourself to become a citizen of "America" instead of a product belonging to the "United States." You can also get your true name back, using both uppercase and lowercase letters. Among the advantages will be that you do not have to pay income taxes, and are no longer subject to the jurisdiction of the courts. Maxwell and his pals can help you to do this, but (as did not come out until the second day) it's going to cost you. His "repatriation" package sells for a mere $995. A "mortgage cancellation" package costs $1,200, a true bargain considering the size of mortgages here in California. But not all his services are so expensive. Monetary judgments can be set aside for a mere $125.

Dubious etymology is a specialty of Maxwell's. For example, the Christian worship of God's "son," who is risen, is clearly derived from Roman worship of the "sun," which rises each morning. Son-sun, he repeats, it's obvious. (Can his audience truly be so simplistic to believe that these words would sound the same to speakers of Latin, Greek, or Hebrew?) "Christ" is really "cristo" or "crisco," which means "oil," not anointed. The "Lord," originally spelled "Lard," is simply congealed "crisco." Passover is when the sun "passes over" the equator which marks the beginning of spring. (According to his resume, Maxwell was an "On-screen Expert and Research Consultant" for the CBS pseudodocumentary series "Ancient Secrets of the Bible." With "expertise" like his, no wonder that program had the real scholars howling!)
A great Buddhism explanation website
This is a great site for learning about Buddhism in a quick, easy to comprehend, encapsulated form that is informative, while fun to read. It is short, funny, and factual. I recommend it for anyone who wants to explain Buddhism to their Grandparents or children
Q & A
Do you ever have days when you feel like Jerry Lewis on a three day Jim Beam vomitting bender trying to fix the space shuttle over the radio using only the removable parts of a spacesuit and the zero gravity toilet!? Shouting " Hey Nice Lady "and puking up alcohol reeking vomitus into a headset without any idea of what the hell he is doing

Answer: Sometimes it's more like feeling like a PCP-addled Wink Martindale hosting a new game show involving consumer prices, machete tossing, and Double Dare-style "physical challenges" during Sweeps Week, with famous wheelchair-ridden celebrities like Christopher "Superman don't crawl through no ice cream labyrinth" Reeve and Stephen "Fuck you, Wink, that blade is sharper than my intellect" Hawking asking toss-up questions to the inner-city contestants. The vomitus is a constant, however
Oh, my friends! I love this stuff! It makes me get so pumped up that I almost kick my mom, right in the face! It's like a wagonload of Ninjas, drawn by angry, flesh-eating Hippos, running over a parking lot full of pirates, while guitars wail in the background in 5-point digital surround sound. GOD DAMN I get a kick out of this!!!! Okay okay, what is it you might ask? It's stuff like Egyptian artifacts found buried in Arkansas and matching artifacts excavated after thousands of years from sites in Africa and South America. It's ancient idols depicting spacesuits! It's rumors of the origins of the Merovingian kings of France!! Mwa-hahahahaha! oh yes, Learn it, Know it, Live it!!!!

hee hee check out this too!

Ariel! Ookla! Ride!!!!!
They Fight Crime
This site is a ver simple generator of promo text for comic book/tv show pitches entitled, "they fight crime" the options it comes up with are great though! Check it out.

He's a witless zombie librarian with a passion for fast cars. She's a sarcastic mutant queen of the dead with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!
Actual English Subtitles to Hong Kong Movies

I am damm unsatisfied to be killed this way.
Fatty, you with your think face have hurt my instep.
Gun wounds again?
Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
A normal person would't steal pituitaries.
Damm, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
Quiet you I'll blow your thoat up.
You always use violence, I should't have ordered the glutinous rice chicken.
I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
You daring lousy guy.
Beat him out of recognizable shape!
I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
How can you use my intestines as a gift?
The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
Children's Books You'll Probably Never See :

You Were an Accident
Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly
Getting More Chocolate on Your Face
Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
All Dogs Go to Hell
The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver
You Are Different and That's Bad
Pop Goes The Hamster....And Other Great Microwave Games
The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad
The Tickling Babysitter
Babar Meets the Taxidermist
Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mommy's Purse
The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear
Barney: The Prison Years
The Fightin' Whiteys
To everyone who new Walt Hilkemann. He was always talkin about "Whitey", and about how whitey was keepin him down. Well now Whitey, or at least the icon of whitey, can give back where it has taken so much. Check it out...
Feel the glory of the sheer brain-peeling comedy that IS!!! Jesus H. Keerist on a pogo-stick with a side of bacon, this man is my own personal savior for the next three weeks!!

The glory here is in the commentary and the study of the effects of celery on undergarments. How could something with no violence or nudity or foul language make me laff so hard I could kick my Mom in the face?!? How??!

Food Glorious Food, You will love me for sending you this

The grooviest Hotel in Wisconsin...See this now and know that YOUR home is an incomplete pile of crap that you should be ashamed of!

The permanent collection of Impermenent art. Oh yes, you need to see this, your party invitations will never be the same again. Buddha loves you!

GOD IN HEAVEN!!! There's comedy and then there's what this is....I cant believe what a great collection of the American dorkiness of the past this is. It's incredible, it's amazing, it's stupendous!!!!!!!!

Oh the abuse of dogs, well, not really abuse...perhaps misuse! Indeed, this will amuse and annoy you as you embark on a journey, nay, an oddyssey of all that was and is wrong with using animals to fill newspaper space for the "human interest" angle. Mangia! MANGIA!!!

Bad Publicity! There's no such thing as bad publicity. Right? As long as they spell the name right. As long as your face and name is out there, as long as you're dancing in the public eye it doesn't matter whether your laces are untied or your sock has a hole or your hair looks like you combed it with a corkscrew. Any publicity is good publicity.

*** P.S.: for those of you seeing this from me for the second time. I apologize but I saw it again and it's still funnier than a double date with a supermodel, a retarded dwarf, and a catholic schoolgirl with Turets syndrome in New York's fanciest restaurant where someone else is both filming for posterity, and picking up the tab.
Flying will be as easy as driving a car,6903,442773,00.html
Robot built with grafted biological muscle tissue
Fun at the expense of others
Evil People Inc.
Evil Comedy laffs here:

So you wanna be Evil...
Get Your WAR On
Read this, read it right now! This is ecomics at some of it's best:
Insanity Test
Do you wonder about your sanity? This page will resolve your doubts.
Which Colossal Death Robot are You
The Devolutionary Oath
Hey folks! It's Bobbin' Bob here, and I'm going to help you out with your Devolutionary Oath! Okay now ... You've got your left hand, you've got your right hand, you've got both hands. Raise them up high, and repeat after me ...
This Modern World - by Tom Tomorrow
Perhaps the most important syndicated cartoon of our time. There is a ten year collected archive here that provides hours of laughing reading entertainment. I could not recommend this comic enough! Seriously! It's truly excellent in several ways.
More Evil Robots Please
On the Desk and from the pen of you man you will learn to fear, learn to hate and learn to respect. Tremble minions, yes tremble, when.....
The man whose facial hair looks like a terrible, tropical disease.

Is Your Neighbor an Evil Scientist?
Evil Scientists don't just live in castles, nowadays. He could be having a pint down at your local pub, building a small fish pond in his back garden or hosting a celebrity cooking programme. For all you know your own neighbour could be interefering with the very essence of nature. You can't always spot them, but there are 10 tell tale signs that suggest your neighbour is maniac hell bent on world domination.


56-year-old Professor Satan has been a regular visitor to the Balkan state of Munrovia for two decades. "My parents built a house here 20 years ago and since my father was buried alive in quick lime and my mother was raped and murdered at the hands of the bastard sons of a thousand maniacs, all my evil schemes have been based here." he says..
SNARK Inc. - Evil Corporation Fun
This is a funny little satire site with some tasty comedy portraying a fictional corporation with evil plans and products. Check it out. It's got lots o' laffs.
AdBusters: corporate jokesters
Love them, and their agenda. The fact that I am not allready and "jammer" embarasses me. There's a lot to see here, take a while to look around and learn the neat things you can do to fuck with companies. And the reasons you SHOULD!!!
Obey the Giant, Obey him you bastards!!!
Oh, and buy his stuff...
The Sixth Extinction
Ah, I love this kind of stuff here. Check out htis guys article. An exerpt from his book. It is interesting and sciencey! A new mass extinction is coming, and it could be us! Wheeeeeeeee!

A Field Guide to The Sixth Extinction
Make sure you read the other Sixth Extinciton link I posted above before you read this one.

Millions of plants and animals won't make it to the next millennium. Here's a glimpse of some species the future will never see. By NILES ELDREDGE
Words of wisdom, from the insidious, Dr. MechaNaughty, the collossal death robot:

"Never hire a wino to do a hobo's job!"

"I'm not as likely to carve your entire extended family into delicate, saucy fillets of tender pink meat as you drunk I am."

"If i had a nickel for every time I've heard the phrase, "aggravated assault with a hedgehog, a peeled cucumber, 240 fluid ounces of gold, metal-flake automotive paint and a carry-kit of assorted rubber fishing lures" I would kick you square in the nuts!"

"A doctoral thesis, rubber cement, giblet gravy and a backhoe, these things are the stuff of infamy." (they are! True story!)

"like jews in a furnace, these are the days of our lives..."

"those who are willing to give up freedom for security will soon find that I am kicking their stupid asses all up and down the street, in broad daylight, in front of their family and friends." ( because the stupid deserve the abuse the good lord heaps upon them )

"I like Pork"
Cliff Yablonski Hates You!

Get the whole story at :
The ROBOT movement is GO!!
Find out more about killing puny humans at:
A "Holy Blood-Holy Grail" tie-in story, The Golzel Stones
In 1927, a subterranean chamber in France was discovered, accidentally, by a cow. Full of mysterious artefacts, some of them Neolithic, the find was an enigma. Was it a mediæval magician’s store, a Templar treasure house or something even more mysterious? Patricia and Lionel Fanthorpe revisit one of their earliest investigations.
Glozel lies very close to the imposing ruins of the 13th century Château Montgilbert, built at the time of Templar ascendancy in France. Only two or three days’ swift ride to the south is Rennes-le-Château – citadel of many unsolved historical mysteries – with its fabled Arcadian Treasure and controversial Templar and Cathar connections. An astonishing series of real (but admittedly tenuous) connections could link the mysterious Glozel artefacts with the legendary treasure of Rennes and with the Oak Island Money Pit mystery off the coast of Nova Scotia. This would unite three of the most intriguing enigmas of all time.
Whatever the treasure of Rennes-le-Château may eventually turn out to be, more than a quarter of a century’s research and site investigation have convinced us that it has nothing whatever to do with Jesus of Nazareth. Neither is there a shred of truth in the romantic, sensational, but ever-popular ‘bloodline’ theories involving St Mary Magdalene and the old French Merovingian Dynasty. The treasure of Rennes-le-Château is probably something far older than our Christian era. In order to bring the flickering torch of theory into the gloom of the underground chamber on the Fradin farm at Glozel, it is necessary to go back a very long way indeed.
THE IMMORTAL COUNT - The Count of St-Germain
If you've read the writings of Robert Anton Wilson, you've heard this name and seen this character portrayed. He appears, at least in mention and sometimes in character in at least three R.A. Wilson books thatI've read. Check this out:

Immortal, ascended master, alchemist, space tourist or charlatan, the Count of St-Germain is one of the most intriguing mystery-men of the 18th century. DOUG SKINNER cuts through the misunderstanding, mystification, lies, and wishful thinking about the Count – and those who impersonated him over the centuries – to present a portrait of this enigmatic and long-lived romantic hero.

The 18th century abounded in romantic riddles – the Man in the Iron Mask, Cagliostro, the Lost Dauphin… but there’s something uniquely engaging about the Count of St-Germain, who stepped from nowhere with no past and no name to dazzle the French court. He pops up from time to time across Europe, only to vanish, leaving extravagant rumours in his wake: he was immortal; owned the elixir of life; was a Rosicrucian; a spy; an incognito king. I have no urge to burst this bubble. I couldn’t if I tried; the many mysteries about the Count will never be solved. It is possible, though, to winnow some fictions from the facts, and trace their development. The legend has had a life of its own, and it’s quite a story.
The Mystical Count and The Saragossa Manuscript
Polish aristocrat turned Oriental wanderer, Count Jan Potocki was a child of the Enlightenment drawn to the mysticism of the Illuminati and Rosicrucians. GARY LACHMAN examines the strange life and even stranger death of the author of The Saragossa Manuscript.
The Saragossa Manuscript – as it is often called – is a weird farrago of stories within stories, with an overall supernatural bent, modelled in many ways on The Arabian Nights. Over a period of 66 days, the young Walloon officer Alphonse van Worden recounts his adventures with gypsies, cabbalists, demons, corpses, astrologers, the Wandering Jew and secret societies.
The Mothman Prophecies
Oh yes my firends, I first heard of this when I was a little boy in the seventies. I read a true ghost stories account of an attack on two teenagers by the mothman which left actuall giant rents in the roof of their car, among the first physical evidence of the mothman. check out these very informative articles concerning the mothman, and the writer of The Mothman Prophecies.

In The Mothman Prophecies, Keel tells an astonishing tale of how, as a budding UFO researcher in November 1966, he began investigating sightings in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, of an incredible animal form with characteristics of both man and moth. Keel found, as had his friend Ivan Sanderson before him, that the pursuit of a mystery creature – a ‘cryptid’ – leads very quickly to involvement with the mysteries of a landscape and a community.

and make sure you also read this article, in which:
In 1978, journalist RICK MORAN was asked to test his theory that journalists are better equipped to investigate paranormal mysteries than those seeking to prove or disprove them. The subject of the challenge was the series of events enshrined in John Keel’s book The Mothman Prophecies (1975). With a small group of fellow researchers, he set out for Mothman’s stomping ground, but did not reckon on the Men in Black.
Real Bums Beating The Shit Out Of Each Other & Doing CRAZY STUNTS! AWESOME!!

As Seen On CNN> THIS IS THE REAL DEAL! First Time On The WEB!

Corned-Beef Antelope
Don't ask, just watch...
what is the frequency kenneth?
On the evening of October 4th, 1986, Dan Rather was attacked by William Tager who, contrary to popular belief, had a very good reason for attacking Rather. Bill Tager was born in the year 2265. Bill Tager is from the future. Bill Tager is not from our planet. Well, technically he is from earth but not from our earth. Tager comes from an earth in a parallel universe and was sent here by the government of his planet. On Tagers earth, the entire planet is under the control of one government. Tagers world wide government has been experimenting with travel to other parallel universes (which involves a warp of the space/time continuum) for almost 150 years. Bill Tager, a convicted felon on his planet, volunteered to be the first human test pilot on the condition that he be given a full pardon if he returned safely.

See the full kick-ass story at:
Reverse Speech
It has been called the discovery of the 7th sense. The research into this phenomenon has been described as being of "Nobel calibre". It has been featured in numerous publications around the world, and in the United States it became a household name in the late 90s. It is called Reverse Speech, the phenomenon of hidden backward messages in speech. It initially gained worldwide fame in the early 80s as those strange backward messages in rock and roll. Since that time, research has progressed significantly and it is now known to exist in all forms of human speech.
If human speech is recorded and played backwards, mixed amongst the gibberish at regular intervals can be heard very clear statements. These statements usually appear in short sentence form and are nearly always related to the forward speech. It appears constantly throughout language, so much so in fact, that it is believed to be a natural part of our speech processes.
Check out this whole site devoted to it:

(is this the backmasking craze of the new millenium?)
Project Paperclip - An actual true conspiracy
This isn't really that sinister a conspiracy but it was a top-secret project for years before knowledge of it basically became harmless history. This is a neat thing to know about. Educate yourself on the relationship between our government and Nazi Scientists!

"The U.S. Military rounded up Nazi scientists and brought them to America. It had originally intended merely to debrief them and send them back to Germany. But when it realized the extent of the scientists knowledge and expertise, the War Department decided it would be a waste to send the scientists home. Following the discovery of flying discs (foo fighters), particle/laser beam weaponry in German military bases, the War Department decided that NASA and the CIA must control this technology, and the Nazi engineers that had worked on this technology. "
Holy Shit! I had almost forgotten about "Alternative 3"
I first heard about this theory in an old Austin Chronicle ca.1991. this is one of my all-time favorite conspiracy theories, hands down. It would be so ULTRA-MEGA-SWEET if this were even half true that I would have to punch my mom right in the face. here's an exerpt:

"The ALTERNATIVE 3 astronauts landed on the Moon and built their own bases many years BEFORE the FIRST APOLLO ASTRONAUTS landed on the Moon in 1969, as the result of a secret treaty between the Pentagon and the Zetans. The Zetans helped the Department of Majority colonize the Moon with secret bases, and in exchange the Pentagon's Majority Department helped the ZETANS colonize the United States with their own secret underground bases. The Pentagon decided that co-operating with the ZETANS was a better idea than being invaded!"
The Rocket Scientist & The Guru: Stardate 1946
Oh my friends, my friends, my friends!!! Now THIS shit here is a REAL hoot. This link tells the story of L. Ron Hubbard the Crowlian sex magic satanist and his freaky-deaky occult doings prior to and during the Scientology project he later became famous for! Along with ludicrous explanations of the implicastions of these accusations. This is SWEET stuff, my friends. Occult / Conspiracy chuckles aplenty. Check out htis sweet-ass exerpt as a tasty teaser for what you will find inside:

"Hubbard wished to bring this other world into Manifestation but lacked the technical knowledge to do so. So, he came to the innocent sex magician Jack Parsons. In this version, the Babalon Working, guided by Hubbard, had little to do with 'Babalon' and more to do with the hideous Old Ones of the H.P. Lovecraft Cthuthu Mythos. "A door opened; something came through" is the essence of this thesis, and the appear- ance of the first "flying saucer" case the following year is considered, in this outre rumor, not coincidental at all."

( can you believe somebody else (besides me) actually wrote something this funny and fucked up!?!?!?! )
The Georgia Guidestones
Hey Everybody, check out this freemason conspiracy laden hoo-haa here:

"On one of the highest hilltops in Elbert County, Georgia stands a huge granite monument. Engraved in eight different languages on the four giant stones that support the common capstone are 10 Guides, or commandments. That monument is alternately referred to as The Georgia Guidestones, or the American Stonehenge. Though relatively unknown to most people, it is an important link to the Occult Hierarchy that dominates the world in which we live."
How to make a pipe bomb! Bert explains it all...
If you don't enjoy the cynical yuks of this site, you're a dick.

How to insert a tampon, Bert style...
it's what's wrong with kids today....

How to make Crytal Meth. by Bert
This should be illegal. Oh yeah!! It IS illegal!
School of Hard Holds
This site is a comedy warehouse! You must see it's "Recipes in Collected" section. I almost peed it was so funny. Here's a sample:

"I am having the good times reporting on my computer book once again to all of you! It has been the longest time since I am coming here to put down the words about the matches and the important events happening in the life of Yours Truly. I am getting many e-mails saying "Greatest wrestler in history of sport of Mexican wrestling, please up to date your computer book because we are demanding satisfaction with the words you put down". This has been moving me to tears or close to location of tears and I am thoughtful of the outpouring of good intentions by fan-types so I am writing in the computer book today! "
How to Lose a Fight So The Other Guy Goes to Jail
Oh the comedy! It's short but it's SWEET! Here's a sample:

"I don't mean to brag, but I've never really had a hard time getting beaten up. However, for the longest time, after someone kicked my ass, instead of going to jail, that person would just go wash-up. No longer.

Allow me to reveal the tricks I use for getting the Law to deal out the punishment my fists and teeth cannot."
Nuclear Mayhem in the Shed
A boy scout gone completely fucking awry! Kids, TRY this at home. (cute little tyke, lookit 'im glow!)
A dose of madness
Forty years ago, two psychiatrists adminstered history's largest dose of LSD. Johan Jensen reports on the epoch-defining experiment

Mystified by the new wonder drug LSD, the psychiatrist Louis Jolyon West and his colleague at the University of Oklahoma, Chester M Pierce, were looking for a new way to investigate the drug in 1962. They came up with an idea so outlandish it could only happen in the world of experimental psychology.,9837,770645,00.html
How to get friends in the NSA - by Bert
Our friends at the NSA want to know who you are and what you like. Here are some things you can do to get noticed. You can start by dropping keywords in your conversations. These are certain words that you can type into your emails, your internet chatrooms, and even say on the phone to get his attention. Some of these keywords are:

bomb, terrorist, osama bin-laden, marijuana, president, kill, assassinate, september 11, destroy, plot, drugs, cocaine, chaney, congress, senate, iraq, saddam hussein, cnn, nbc, abc, cbs, missile, pharmacy, crack, pot, grow, survival, bullet, ammunition, terror, militia, freedom, plexus autocatalysis, virus, anthrax, revolution, revelation, 12/21/2012, alien, gun, george bush, pentagon, twin towers, new york city, india, pakistan, nuclear, hack, truth

see the whole deal at:
The Things
This is the home of some very tasty and screwed up comics made from scenes from old "He-Man" and "ThunderCats" cartoons. Go to this site and access the "in poor taste" drop down menu for episodes. It is Hella-sweet!
Einstein's theory 'may be wrong'
The theory that the speed of light is always constant has come under fire.
Anti-gravity propulsion comes ‘out of the closet'
Boeing, the world’s largest aircraft manufacturer, has admitted it is working on experimental anti-gravity projects that could overturn a century of conventional aerospace propulsion technology if the science underpinning them can be engineered into hardware.
The Lite side and the Dark side of "The Ica Stones"
The 'lite side', this guy's webstie talks about them from a believer's standpoint:
This site opposes the whole thing as massivley hoax-a-liscious:
Try this at home!!!
For more than two years debate has raged on the Internet about an ordinary-looking metal drum sitting on the concrete floor of a factory building in Rome, Georgia, 50 miles from Atlanta. Its inventor, the man about whom the Internet debate is raging, is James Griggs, an industrial heating engineer.

The invention that has brought Griggs such notoriety is a device that he began developing in 1987, that he calls the 'Hydrosonic Pump' and that many of his supporters believe is over-unity, in that it generates around 30 per cent more energy as heat than is put in as electricity.
find out more at:
How to travel faster than light?
Of course, everyone who has even the slightest acquaintance with science -- fact or fiction -- knows that what the crew of the Enterprise do every Wednesday night is scientifically impossible. You can't travel faster than light -- Einstein says so.
There is a perfectly good reason for this (although it isn't spelled out as often as it might be). As an object increases in speed, it's mass increases. This is not merely theoretical, it has been observed in particle accelerators like that at CERN: speed up an electron and it's mass increases. As it approaches light speed (186,000 miles per second) it's mass approaches being infinitely large. Just to keep its speed, it would thus need all the energy in the universe to propel it.
However, there is one possibility quivering on the horizon that just might make starships feasible and it is Clarke who has identified and named it.
The SHARP Drive is the fictional drive that propels his third millennia spaceships across the immense distances between stars. Clarke coined the terms SHARP from the initial letters of the four physicists who he jointly credits with originating the concepts and discoveries that make the drive possible Sakharov, Haisch, Alfonso Rueda, and Hal Puthoff.
Andrei Sakharov is the distinguished Russian physicist who first suggested that space is not empty but is full of energy, the so-called 'zero-point field'. This suggestion was taken up by astrophysicist Bernhard Haisch of Lockheed's Research Laboratories and physicists Alfonso Rueda, a professor at California State University at Long Beach, and Harold Puthoff of the Institute for Advanced Studies in Austin.
Yes, AUSTIN! See the rest at:
Plants are transmuting the elements!!! It's vege-alchemy!!
For eight years, from 1875 to 1883, a German biologist named von Herzeele conducted several hundred experiments in his Berlin laboratory which so outraged the scientific community that his books were removed from libraries and his writings banned.

The subject that so outraged his colleagues is today a taboo question that can scarcely be mentioned in polite scientific circles. It is the apparently innocent question: where do the minerals in plants come from? Von Herzeele grew plants without soil, using solutions whose mineral content he measured and controlled. Like scientists before him in England, France and Germany he found that there were elements in the ashes of the plants he grew that could not have got in from the growth medium. He concluded that 'plants are capable of effecting the transmutation of elements.'
Find out the rest at:
Is the Sun really hot?
The question is, on the face of it, almost insane. No-one could possibly doubt that the sun is the only source of external heat on earth. And, certainly, the part that we see, the sun's photosphere, is some 5,800 degrees Kelvin. The solar corona, which extends into space, may be as hot as one million degrees Kelvin.
However, physicists have always been aware of nagging problems with the conventional view of how stars form and how they burn. And now, Italian physicist Renzo Boscoli, has published details of a theory that is staggering: the theory that far from being hot underneath its atmosphere, the sun may, at its core, be a ball of ice in which not hot, but cold fusion reactions are taking place.
find out the whole thing at:
Okay, frankly this shakes my belief in all that's holy...
Do you really have to have a brain? The reason for my apparently
absurd question is the remarkable research conducted at the
University of Sheffield by neurology professor John Lorber.
When Sheffield's campus doctor was treating one of the
mathematics students for a minor ailment, he noticed that the
student's head was a little larger than normal. The doctor
referred the student to professor Lorber for further examination.
The student in question was academically bright, had a reported
IQ of 126 and was expected to graduate. When he was examined by
CAT-scan, however, Lorber discovered that he had virtually no
brain at all.
Instead of two hemispheres filling the cranial cavity, some 4.5
centimetres deep, the student had less than 1 millimetre of
cerebral tissue covering the top of his spinal column.
Find out even more at:
Holy shit, you guys aren't going to believe this crazy shit...
In April 1993, the defence magazine Jane's International Defence Review announced the discovery by a British amateur inventor, Maurice Ward, of a thin plastic coating able to withstand temperatures of 2,700 degrees Centigrade

The reason why it was a defence magazine who first published news of This revolutionary invention is that the coating is so resistant to heat that it can make tanks, ships and aircraft impervious to the effects of nuclear weapons at quite close range!!!!!!!!!! -- and hence is of great interest to the military mind.
Cold Fusion -- The Sun in a bottle
No other scientific endeavour has consumed so much talent, so much cash and so many years of sustained effort as the race to harness the power that makes the Sun shine. Billions of pounds, (and dollars, roubles and yen), more than four decades of research and the careers of thousands of physicists have been expended on the search for a nuclear reactor that will generate limitless power from the fusion of hydrogen atoms. Here's a little webpage that will give you a nice primer of information about cold fusion. Such that you will at least be conversant in the subject.
Aurora, Texas Mystery Medallion Initial Study Results
On Thursday. August 15, 2002, the crude medallion found near the site of a reported spaceship crash in Aurora, Texas, back in 1897 was given a cursory examination by Cyndi Fernihough, a jeweler in Decatur, Texas.
Fernihough, while professing she does not believe in "aliens," nevertheless pronounced the medallion as "puzzling". She said the piece had the characteristics of oxidized copper.
"I don't believe it is brass because there is no smell of brass," she explained. "I think it is copper but weathered after being in the ground so long.
Fernihough also noted that the eight punch holes in the small metal disk were square, indicating the use of square nails. This observation fits well with the account of the medallion's finder, Robert Brown of Newark, Texas. Brown said he found the piece near the site of the reported 1897 UFO crash but added that a blacksmith shop had been in that same location.
Study of both the medallion and the circumstances of its discovery will continue.

For more information and photos:
Oh the sweet-ass comedy! Check it out -Oh this is goooood stuff here my friends, check out the groovy propaganda posters, they rizule!
Navy Dismisses Arctic Sightings
Ottawa - Canada's Arctic seems to be competing for a place in the X-Files with reports of mysterious objects plying its frigid waters, strange footprints detected near shorelines and an unusual absence of marine animals.
Over the past couple of years, there have been at least a dozen sightings of unusual objects moving along or just below the surface of the water in the North, according to newly released Canadian Forces records.
Last September, Inuit hunters and members of the Canadian Rangers, the military's locally recruited force of aboriginals, reported what they believed was a foreign submarine checking out Canada's Arctic territories.
Most of the sightings took place last August and September near Pond Inlet on Baffin Island, where, on 11 occasions, witnesses reported seeing large waves and strange objects in the water.
Mysterious footprints were also found along the water's edge near where the objects were sighted. Marine animals had largely disappeared from the area.

See the whole X-Files type article at:
British Develop Electric 'Force Field' To Protect Tanks
LONDON - An electric "force field" for armored vehicles that vaporizes anti-tank grenades and shells on impact has been developed by scientists at Britain's Ministry of Defense.

The "electric armor" has been developed in an attempt to make tanks and other armored vehicles lighter and less vulnerable to grenade launchers such as those used by Taliban and al Qaeda fighters in Afghanistan.

It could be fitted to the light tanks and armored personnel carriers (APCs) that will replace the heavy Challenger II tanks and Warrior APCs in one of the two British armored divisions.

Sweet sweet military science! Read the whole neato deal at:
Clear Channel Sucks is a free speech website dedicated to educating the public about entertainment giant Clear Channel. Clear Channel owns over 1,200 radio stations and 37 television stations, with investments in 240 radio stations globally, and Clear Channel Entertainment (aka SFX, one of their more well-known subsidiaries) owns and operates over 200 venues nationwide. They are in 248 of the top 250 radio markets, controlling 60% of all rock programming. They outright own the tours of musicians like Janet Jackson, Aerosmith, Pearl Jam, Madonna and N'Sync. They own the network which airs Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura, Casey Kasem, and the Fox Sports Radio Network. With 103,000,000 listeners in the U.S. and 1,000,000,000 globally (1/6 of the world population), this powerful company has grown unchecked, using their monopoly to control the entire music industry. If you find this alarming, is the place for you.

See their cool site at:
Evidence Britons Were In The US In The 6th Century
It's proof of Prince Madoc in America circa 560," say leading British and US historians.
A team of leading independent historians and researchers announced today that Radio Carbon dating evidence, and the discovery of ancient British style artefacts and inscriptions in the American Midwest, provided, "the strongest indications yet" that British explorers, under the Prince Madoc ap Meurig, arrived in the country during the 6th Century and set up colonies there.
Research team members have known the location of burial sites of Madoc's close relatives in Wales for some time, it emerged today; they have decided to break their self-imposed silence in order that their research be fully known and understood. DNA evidence could provide vital new leads, they say.

Get the kooky news at:
U.S. firm presses cremated remains into diamonds
THIS LITTLE PIGGY: This blue diamond was pressed from the cremated remains of a pig. Now you can have your loved ones wrapped around your little finger, even after they're dead.
An Illinois company says it has perfected a new process to make diamonds from the deceased. For a few thousand dollars, LifeGem will extract the carbon from the cremated remains of your relative or pet, and press it into a synthetic diamond.
Dean VandenBiesen, vice-president of operations at LifeGem, said the idea for the company came from his brother Rusty, now the company's chief operating officer.
"The traditional methods of burial or having ashes in an urn just didn't sit right with him," VandenBiesen said. "But he realized that man is made of carbon and diamonds are made of carbon so he just put the two ideas together."

See the remains of the article at:
Wilhelm Reich Museum is open!
Wilhelm Reich was a physician-scientist whose investigation of energy functions in human emotions led to the discovery of an unknown energy which exists in all living matter and in the cosmos. He called this energy "orgone."

Born in 1897 in the Austrian province of Galicia, Reich graduated from the Medical School of the University of Vienna in 1922. A student of Sigmund Freud, he became one of the great psychoanalytic pioneers before his clinical studies led him into the laboratory and to investigations of the energy processes in nature.

Reich came to the United States in 1939 where he continued to study the manifestations and laws of orgone energy and to invent ways to make this energy usable. In 1954, the Federal Food and Drug Administration obtained an Injunction by default which ordered Reich's literature to be banned and destroyed. As a result, several tons of Reich's published books and journals were burned, constituting one of the most heinous acts of censorship in U.S. history. In his defense, Reich asserted to the Court that "Man's right to know, to learn, to inquire, to make bona fide errors, to investigate human emotions must, by all means, be safe, if the word FREEDOM should ever be more than an empty political slogan." The Court rejected this defense and Reich was convicted of contempt of court and imprisoned in Lewisburg Penitentiary where he died on November 3, 1957.

See the nice RiechMuseum website at:
Utah Man Had a Vision -- A Vision of Television
The Utah native who as a 14-year-old farm boy had looked across the plowed rows of his father's potato field and envisioned electron beams scanning pictures in horizontal lines is no longer the forgotten inventor of television.
Seventy-five years ago Saturday, on Sept. 7, 1927, Philo Farnsworth was able to take what he later called an epiphany and make it a reality, transmitting a single line of light in a makeshift lab in San Francisco.

See the neat little article at:
Bill of Rights, Constitution and Declaration of Independance
Here is a nice page on the Library of Congress site that provides the text of our Bill of Rights, Constitution and Declaration of Independance. It is interesting to read and know these documents. It is rather sad that they are not a required lesson for children in public schools. The only reason I even know as much as the preamble to the constitution is due to stupid little educational commercials they used to air in the '70s. Anyhow, now you can learn the ACTUALL text of these important historical documents that pertain directly to you. I need to make a version of the Constitution that shows all of the parts that have been basicly nullified by F.E.M.A. and the Patriot Act and other lesser known Acts and Bills that have passed since WWII. Well, for now, here's the link. Do take some time to make use of it. Even if you only print it out for later perusal.
It's about time this sort of tom-foolerish backlash happened. I fully endorse this product as just and good in the face of all the rancid cuteness I have to endure. MY child, should I ever be stupid enough to procreate, will certainly have one of these.
Welcome to the fascinating and somewhat creepy world of antique medical quackery and electrotherapy devices. What follows are descriptions and pictures of the various types of devices that I (and others) have been able collect over the years. I am always interested in hearing from others who collect or appreciate such weirdness and I am especially interested in sharing info and pictures of devices others have in their collections. Feel free to contact me if you have any interesting devices to sell (see want list). Please send any comments or suggestions to David Rickert at

Another fun site full of freaky crap people used to believe in: