Friday, January 01, 2010

8 facts about massage

8 facts about massage
1. If you touch someone for money you are evil.
2. Slap. Pop. Crack. This is the essence of massage.
3. Never confuse your friends with your hands. You might try and rub someone with a companion!
4. The stringy backed type enjoys paste more than unction.
5. The smoother the surface, the less resistance to your spite.
6. Calmly do it. Calmly...THEN STRIKE!
7. Pubic massage is a whole separate issue.
8. In Rome they scrape. Here, you should wash

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

8 facts about waddling

8 facts about waddling
1. Ducks do because they know you are watching. Your sight turns there waist to jelly.
2. Fatness makes a man waddle.
3. It's just such a hip new look! Like cheese strings or something!
4. Wear baggier trousers, Frank!
5. You generate more energy if you waddle. Just tie your head to the generator
6. Forward speed reduced. Lateral enjoyment maximized!
7. Intoxicated people who also waddle tend to smack their heads against walls.
8. Never waddle in court. Judges will think you are a duck (see #1).